Why is it that my beautiful little angel, Miss Natalie, turns into a sucking machine every night, lately?
Tonight alone, I nursed her to sleep at 6:30pm. She woke up hysterical at 9:30pm, so I nursed her back to sleep AGAIN. And we just played the same game minutes ago at 10:30pm. Oh, and let me be clear that I have no doubt we will be spending more “quality” time together well into the night.
I have somehow managed to turn my boobs into the world’s first human pacifier, and I don’t like it…not one bit! At this point in the evening, and surly at 12:30am, 2:30am, and 4:30am when Natalie and I have our little rendezvous again, I will be asking myself why?
Why do I do this to by body? I know rationally and logically right now that breast milk is the best form of nutrition for our babies, and I am blessed to be able to nurse my infant. However, let’s face facts here ladies…this is not a nutritional issue. She only wants to use me to sooth herself back to sleep. And while comforting her and watching her drift into a peaceful sleep at my breast during nap time and bedtime brings me immeasurable joy, doing it EIGHTEEN more times throughout the night….well, let’s just say it loses its luster for me at that point!
I know…I know….
“Sara, you need to stop spoiling her and giving in.”
“Sara, just let her cry it out.”
“Sara, put her to bed awake and then she won’t keep waking up needing you to get back to sleep.”
I know all of the advice and the “right” things to do in this situation. I just can’t seem to articulate how hard it is to act on at 2:00am with a screaming child. During these moments, I just want the madness to end before she wakes up the rest of the house.
So, as I sit here complaining, I realize that I can either go through the next several months sleepless and resentful of the 24 hour human pacifier gig, or I can buck up and get through the inevitable 3 night detox.
I’ll let you know when I’m rested enough to take on such a task…..for now….I need to go nurse Natalie back to sleep…. ;o)
