I read a post by a fellow blogger, badassdad05, and it sparked an interesting discussion regarding how to keep our children safe in today’s world.  As the “over protective” mother of 5 children, I cannot articulate how often this issue comes up in our home. It is nearly impossible to know where the lines are drawn between rational boundaries and irrational fears.

 Living in a small town seems to give everyone around here a sense of security that I just don’t feel.  Perhaps it was being raised for part of my childhood in Las Vegas.  Drive by shootings would be threatened on a regular basis around my Middle School.  It got to a point where they wouldn’t even evacuate us…they would just put the s.w.a.t. team on the roof of the school building and let us carry on with our day.  Kids around here ride their bikes all over town; they go to the local hang outs unsupervised, and basically have the run of the town.  I, on the other hand, do not allow my children enough room to even breathe at times so I know there must be a happy medium.  Neither extreme is healthy for our children, so I want to know where the middle ground is between being a protective parent and being an overbearing parent. 

 I have to walk that fine line between allowing them the independence they need to learn and grow into functioning adults and keeping them safe.  I struggle deeply with knowing when I’m stifling them and when I’m being appropriate in the boundaries I set.  How do you know when to give them enough room to “sow their oats” and not quite enough room to allow anybody else to “sow their oats” with my daughter?  I don’t have the answer. 

I also don’t want to raise a bunch of insecure children who are afraid of their own shadow, and yet I feel as parents we have to instill some amount of fear into their little minds.  I need them to fear strangers.  I need my 7 year old to fear wondering off at the park and getting lost.  I need them to fear the consequences of some of their actions and the actions that others of authority could impose on them.

 Yet, I want them to be confident young men and women.  I want them to be self-sufficient enough to handle a mini-crisis, appropriately.  I want them to look an adult in the eye when they speak to them and show courtesy to their elders.  It’s all such a fine line that I quite often feel overwhelmed in what messages to teach and what lessons to allow them to learn on their own.  

Regardless, the bottom line for me is pretty clear.  I know it’s not the popular vote…especially with my husband and children; however, I always come back to the same argument: Once they are gone…they’re gone…and you can never get them back!  I would rather drive my children all over God’s creation and have peace of mind knowing they arrived to their destination safely than let them ride their bike across town and risk never seeing them again. When it comes to my children, NO amount of risk is worth losing them!