Tonight I am feeling a bit downhearted. My two oldest sons are on their way to Indiana with their dad for a basketball tournament. My oldest daughter is at a sleep over with her friends. That leaves me with just the youngest two…Avery and Natalie.
Now I realize that most moms would rejoice at an evening where half of their household was absent; and I always thought I was one of those moms; however, tonight opened my eyes and my heart to a stark realization. I am amazed at how when even one of the 5 children are gone, it truly changes the dynamics of our household. I would be lying through my teeth if I said that it wasn’t easier to go from 5 down to 3 children, but shockingly, “easier” does not translate to “better”.
Dinner tonight was so quiet. I didn’t have to tell my oldest son, Bailey, to sit down while he eats. I did not have to police his brother, Brady, in an effort to make sure he consumes some form of real nutrition. I did not have to tell my daughter to put her phone down and stop texting at the table.
It was very quiet and rather peaceful with just the 7 year old and the baby. My husband and I had a very pleasant conversation. I sat down and ate while my food was still warm. I was not interrupted 12 times to get 8 different drinks on the table.
And while I know in my head that I should have enjoyed this momentary glimpse at sanity, my heart ached for the chaos. I missed hearing everyone talk over each other and my routine lecture on how they “need to show each other respect and listen to one another instead of interrupting all the time”. I wanted to yell at my boys for burping out loud. I even rather missed eating my dinner cold. I mean, who knew after all these years of sitting down to cold meals that I would actually develop a pallet for stale buns and cold meat?!
I guess what I realized is that each and every child in our home adds such life to our family. They are all so individual… so unique… and life without them even for a day is… well….quiet in an unsettling way.
Even tonight’s dinner without all my children present was less like the family meal that I wanted and more of the wakeup call that I needed.
Perhaps all the chaos I rant and rave about trying to alleviate in my life…is actually, what makes my house… a home!
Sunday, 24. May 2009
Lovely, and so very true. Since my son married in December, I am experiencing the full ‘empty nest,’ and I don’t like it one little bit. Sure, like you, I get to eat hot meals. I get to soak in the bathtub for 30 minutes or longer, if I like. I can sit and watch an entire movie, or read a book with no interruptions. But I miss the constant interruptions. I miss pulling their clothes out of the dryer and taking them in neat stacks to their bedrooms, which stay unnaturally tidy these days. I miss the lively chatter around the dinner table and the piles of dishes to wash up afterwards. I miss looking over their homework, and signing their report cards, and going to band booster meetings. Why, shoot, I still even miss the ever present folded diaper on my shoulder, and bottles drying in the dishrack.
At least I did have the foresight to cherish every moment. It’s so true what they say…they’re young so very few precious years.