Ok, deep dark secret time….I think I actually suffer from some sort of seasonal depression!
I have felt like a million dollars lately. It’s been warm, sunny, and a beautiful spring. I have walked at least 3 miles (some days more like 5-7 miles) a day for the last two weeks. And let me tell you what a feat that is for me….I have NEVER exercised (and yes, walking for me is exercise) more than 3 days in a row. Seriously, any time I have joined a gym, made a new year’s resolution, purchased some new workout DVD…I have never made it 4 days in a row. I go strong for days 1, 2, and 3, and then inevitably, something comes up…or I conjure up something….to ensure I never see day 4.
Well, I have been proud to say that this spring I have changed it all. I have been feeling great…insanely motivated to keep myself on track with my diet and exercising efforts (down 15 lbs….thank you….thank you ;o)…motivated that is until today!
Today it was cold and rainy. Honest to God, I could barely get myself out of bed this morning. The kids even ended up at school a couple minutes late because it took me an extra 15 minutes to drag myself out of bed to wake them all up. Thank God the baby, Natalie, woke up crabby this morning so I was able to drive directly home after bringing the other kids to school and climb immediately back into bed with her. She nursed herself right to sleep for her morning nap, and I am willing to admit to the whole world that I too…joined her for a morning nap!
It’s embarrassing to admit that I actually took a nap because I normally would never do such a thing, but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open this morning. And it is definitely much more than just being tired for no apparent reason. My entire mood was down in the dumps. I felt downright depressed all day. Now I know that Monday’s are never the best day of the week for me (I know it’s really Tuesday but the long weekend made it feel like Monday to me). I also know that whenever we have a long weekend together I get sad to send the kids back to school and my husband back to work. So, take my normal “Monday blues” issues and compound it with the gloomy, rainy, cold, dreary weather….and you’ve got yourself one nappen’ mama!
Seriously though, it truly bothers me that the weather plays such an active role in dictating my moods. It really feels as though no matter how bad I wanted to feel good today, there were these invisible forces working against me. I couldn’t fight the doom and gloom. I didn’t have the energy to fight it. After seeing such a huge transformation in my demeanor between the last few weeks and today, I am starting to wonder if I don’t have a real medical condition?! Perhaps I feel this crappy all winter long and I just don’t recognize it.
I don’t want to make a mountain out of a mole hill here, and I do understand that lots of people feel crumby when its nasty outside. So, I really wonder if this is normal or if I might sincerely have a problem. I mean, how many other moms do I know that actually had to go back to bed today just a mere 2 hours after they got up…I’m not so sure. Either way, I think I need to be more in tune with the pattern between my moods and the weather and see if there might be a true correlation between the two.
On a final note….The other thing I questioned today was why in the world….if I know that this kind of weather makes me depressed….do I live in Wisconsin??? We have days like today, either with rain or snow, more months out of the year than not!
I think I need to look into relocating to Sunny California! Just imagine all the walking I would do and weight I would lose if I had that kind of sunshine to motivate me!
P.S. Today was not a total loss…I did walk my 3 miles this evening, albeit begrudgingly, thanks to the “gentle” prodding from a good friend.
