All right,…I have been sitting here writing this post all the while wondering if I should continue to “put myself out there” regarding my weight issues.  It’s actually a rather emotional topic for me to blog about.  I have written this post…and then rewritten it…edited it…re-edited it…and I think I’m pretty much back to exactly what I started with-another post about my weight struggles in my brutal, tell-all honest fashion.  I don’t seem to have the knack for sugar coating things, especially when it comes to being honest with myself over my shortcomings.  So beating myself up over the heifer I have become (and a milking heifer at that) isn’t very difficult to do.  However, posting it for all my friends, family, and complete strangers half way around the world to read about tends to be where I hesitate before hitting the “publish” button.

I’m fairly certain at this point, the inner saga over my weight is never going to end which is rather depressing to acknowledge.  I mean, am I really going to have to battle this for the REST OF MY LIFE?!  Seriously?  I have finally come to the conclusion that I am indeed going to have to fight this demon on a daily basis for the rest of my mortal existence or just say “screw it” and go grab some Dairy Queen.  This week I have a bad attitude.  I’m bloated from my period…nice way to rationalize my insatiable craving for anything salty and then the need to chase it with anything sweet.  Sad but true, I really love blaming mother nature for all cravings far and wide and my inability to control myself.

Unfortunately, I was on a roll with exercising and then fell off the wagon with that too.  I had managed to log dozens of miles in just a few short weeks.  I had exercised for several weeks straight without so much as allowing myself to miss a day.  Then, I got sick…very sick , and that was all it took.  I have been feeling well again for weeks and still cannot bring myself to get back on track.  My dear, sweet, well-intentioned friend calls me every day to ask me if I want to walk or go to the water aerobics class we both signed up for (that I have subsequently attending ONCE), and every day I seem to have a new excuse not to join her.  Sometimes it’s legitimate.  My husband gets home late from work…we have plans with my parents for dinner….I have to wash my hair….I have to pick my nose…blah, blah, blah!  Leave it to me to find any reason not to go with her and then deal with the guilt once we hang up because I know I should be going.  I know deep down that nothing should be more important than exercising if I really want to end the battle of the bulge.  And yet even with this profound knowledge of what I should be doing, I continue to do the wrong things….like skipping the workouts in exchange for pizza and popcorn.

The most amazing aspect of all of this is that I continue to follow the same pattern and yet expect different results…which I do believe is the definition of “insanity”.  Let’s take a peak and what I put myself and my body through on a regular basis…

Step 1:  Ahhh, I love this step.  I let myself eat whatever I want because after all, life is too short to count calories, right?  I have a husband who loves me and is kind enough to lie to me whenever I ask him if I’m getting too fat.  I have enough sizes in my closet to fit into something at whatever size I’m in this month.  And quite frankly, who has the time and energy with 5 children at home to worry about their weight?  I need to just be happy with the skin I’m in and focus on what really matters….my hair?…my skin?….the birds?…the bees?  Well anyway, I’m sure there is something more important to focus on other than my weight.

Step 2:  Oh boy, summer is here.  The kids love the public pool which means I will have to wear a swimming suit in front of all those other mom’s…oh, the torture!  PANIC is probably the best word to describe this step.  I always end up in complete panic over some upcoming season or event.  Whether it’s Christmas and all the holiday parties I will need to attend or summer vacation and swimsuit season….there is always something that sends me into a tailspin and running for the diet pills and latest trend in fad diets and quick fixes to my ever expanding waste line.  I will enjoy my “last supper”…some feast I allow myself as I realize that the madness of eating anything with flavor must come to an end.  I savor each bite and promise myself that tomorrow the diet must start.

Step 3:  The obsession begins.  Not that it ever really ceases to exist in any of the other steps, but it’s in full force for step 3.  It’s all or nothing baby, and this step is all about being “all in”!  The urge to weigh myself 15 times a day is the norm, and I decide to get on a health food kick and all junk food is thrown away.  The kids really love this step.  They go from enjoying ice cream after dinner to fiber bars.  Nice trade off for a 9 year old, don’t ya think?  I also add the exercise portion to this step.  I’m fired up and raring to go!  I make big plans.  I overhaul the cupboards and my diet.  I join a gym and make long, detailed workout schedules.  I tell myself , “This is it!  I’m really going to do it this time!  I mean it!  I’m fed up with being fat and self-conscious, and I am really going to stick to it this time!  I’m going to be back in that size 6 before I know it!  I can’t wait!  I’m going to be so thin!  Blah, blah, blah!”

Now, If  I could just dwell in step 3, I would be thin, fit, healthy as a horse, and life would be grand.  However, I manage to maintain this stage for about 15 minutes, and then it becomes work….allot of work!  Who knew it would be so hard to monitor every morsel of food you put into your mouth and work out like a freak on steroids, just to drop a few pounds?  I mean, am I really that fat?  Do I really need to lose that much weight?  After all, life is too short to count calories, right?…..and we are back to step 1….

So where am I in the cycle this week?  Sadly, I guess I’m winding down step 1…the panic is setting in because my class reunion is right around the corner…so step 3 will begin tomorrow.  The really tragic part of this story is that I already ran these three bases twice since summer has begun.  I lost 17lbs over the past couple months before I fell off the wagon.  Unbelievably, I haven’t gained any of it back yet, but if I continue with step 1 as I have the past couple weeks, I am sure to gain it all back and then some.

So, I enjoyed my “last supper” for the 3rd time since May, and tomorrow will begin the hard-core, hands-on, all-or-nothing diet.

Wish me luck because this time…I really mean it!  I’m really going to do it this time!  I’m fed up with….blah, blah, blah!

In honor of my baby girl’s 1st birthday, which we celebrated on Friday, I decided to post a journal entry I wrote last year at this time.  I was not going into labor on my own so my induction was scheduled for June 26th.   For some reason, I’ve never went into labor on my own..all 5 births were induced.  I was so excited to have the wait finally over, but I was also scared to death.  I don’t care if it was to be my fifth time giving birth…child birth is child birth and squeezing a 7 lb 10 oz watermelon out of a hole the size of a small softball will never NOT be terrifying for me.  This journal entry was recapping how we spent the last day as a family of 6 before welcoming our beautiful Natalie into the world!

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June 25, 2008 10:41pm

It’s so odd, almost unexplainable, but I have the most calming sense of peace deep in my soul right now!  I am going to be induced tomorrow morning at 7:30am with child #5!  Before my other 4 inductions, I was always a basket case.  I expected to feel the same tonight, but I don’t.  I have had a few bouts of weepiness, but overall, I just feel at peace.  I feel as though the Lord gave me an extra day with my 4 beautiful angels before we all welcome our newest blessing into the world.  I was supposed to be induced today, but something came up with the Dr, so my induction was moved to tomorrow.   That allowed me one more glorious day with the kids before our lives change forever.  Even though it’s a blessed change, it’s still a change.  Every one of our lives will be different.  Avery will no longer by the baby in our family.  Kylie will no longer be the only daughter.  My husband will be a father for the first time.  All the dynamics of our family of 6 will change, and I’m excited and melancholy over the entire event.

That’s what made today so precious.  My mom and I took the kids to an amusement park and out to McDonald’s for dinner.  Corey played football with the kids until dusk, and then we roasted marshmallows and snuggled up by the campfire.  It was a perfect end to a perfect day!  The kids were cleaned up and I was able to tuck them all into bed.  I said a silent prayer for each one of them.  They each have such different needs and God has blessed us so much in meeting all those needs.

Seeing the anticipation in Avery’s eyes….hearing the excitement in Brady’s voice…..trying to calm the worry in Bailey’s heart….and then getting to hold my very first baby girl tonight while she cried on my shoulder about her fears was one of the most moving and greatest gifts the Lord has ever given me.

Perhaps that’s where the calming peace in my heart is coming from.

Perhaps…it’s just knowing that I was given one more, perfect day with my babies before we start a new, wonderful chapter in our lives tomorrow.

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Well she was born the picture of health on June 26th @ 3:19pm.  After an extremely scary incident with the epidural (a story I will share at a later time), she arrived roughly 7.5 hours and 3 pushes later.  She came out purple and not crying when they placed her on my stomach.  I was so overwhelmed and excited to hold her, but I kept asking the Dr. if she was ok.  Her color didn’t look right and she really wasn’t making any noise.  After about a minute of me freaking out that she wasn’t crying and that she looked purple (go figure), the Dr. finally conceded and they whisked her off my belly and into the incubator for some oxygen.  After just a few puffs, she was pink and wailing…just what every mother wants to see and hear!   Corey was able to stand right by her side when her tiny hand reached out and grasped his finger.  Then the nurse bundled her up and handed her off to her daddy where he was able to hold his daughter for the very first time.  Natalie Johanna was just minutes old when her very proud and overwhelmed daddy held her in his big, strong arms for the first time.  Her birth was a moment I will cherish forever.

The entire experience of a 9-month culmination of wonder, fear, anticipation, and love never ceases to amaze me.  No matter how many times I give birth, I will never get over what an experience it is.

Words fail me when I try to articulate what giving birth to a miracle means to me….I mean, how do you define that kind of love?!

But I believe the word God uses in the Bible is AGAPE, so with that in mind….Happy 1st Birthday my angel….and while the word “love” fails miserably to describe how I feel for you….I believe AGAPE will do just fine ;o)

It’s 1am and I can barely see strait, but I am so excited that my children are finally home from their vacation, that I just had to write a quick post before our very busy weekend.

They flew in this evening and the airport is two hours south of where we live.  I was so excited and anxious to see them that I drove to the airport.  The thought of waiting an extra two hours to see them was just too much after going 8 very long days without them…so I met them at the terminal gate!

I scooped each one of them up in my arms, squeezed them until they couldn’t breathe, kissed their foreheads, and thanked the good Lord for their safe arrival back home.  Just reliving that moment in my mind as I write this is moving me to tears.

I know many people may think I’m “over the top” to be polite and completely “insane and overbearing” to put it not so politically correct, but I don’t care what people think….not when it comes to my children and what kind of a mother I should or shouldn’t be.  Everyone has an opinion and most don’t hesitate to share it…mainly the negative “nay sayers”.

I live and breathe for my children.  There is nothing…and I truly mean nothing that will ever come before them.  I believe with all my heart and soul that God put me on this earth to be the best mother I can be, and I do my best to make Him proud.  He has blessed me immeasurably with the greatest gift He can give us…children, and I will never take that responsibility or gift lightly.  They are my whole world so if that means I drive 4 hours round trip to see them two hours earlier, then so be it!

They are finally home.  They are all tucked into their beds….fast asleep and safe & sound.   Ahhhhh….there is no better way to give a mother peace within her soul than having her babies tucked in for the night!

And tonight…as I make the rounds to check on them before I head off to bed myself, I will pause for a few seconds longer.  I will linger by their bedside as I pull the covers up over their tiny little toes and marvel at what amazing creatures they are.  And I will thank God again for their health, safety, and for the mere pleasure of knowing them.

My four children have been away now for 6 days on vacation with their father and my ears are starting to hurt.  I cannot express enough how much I miss all the noise.  It has been so quiet that the silence is deafening.  It’s been so unbearable for me at home that Miss Natalie and I have been doing all we can to avoid the place all together.  I have been out and about more in the last 6 days than I have been in the last 6 months.  I find any reason that might remotely seem logical to leave the house and get away from the stillness.  I even took that poor baby girl minivan shopping!  I mean, who takes a nearly 1-year-old minivan shopping for hours on end?  Well, a mother desperately avoiding her empty nest, that’s who!

And speaking of my baby girl….thank God that I have her at home, and I’m so grateful for her company.  She may only be a few days shy of 1 year old, but she is one of the best companions I could ever have.  Just her smile lights up my world and gives me the motivation to keep moving and not sulk like I feel the need to do since the kids left.  She is growing so fast and learning so much that her zest for all things “new” in her world makes waking up each morning an exciting adventure.  I am truly grateful for this one on one time with her and I see now that it’s been a blessing in disguise….a silver lining to missing my other children so much.

And how are the other kids doing?  Very well…they call each evening and tell me all about their day.   Swimming at the pool, rock climbing, going to the beach, and a couple days at Universal Studios are just a few of the fun events that have filled their time in Florida.  Hearing the excitement in their voices each night gives me comfort.  I find solace in knowing that even though I am missing them terribly here at home, they are having the time of their life with their “other” family.

And as sick and twisted as it may seem, I also find comfort in hearing that twinge in their voice when they say good night…an inflection in their voice ever so subtle that lets me know they are missing me too ;o)

Finally….five minutes to blog.  I have a showing for my house in less than 2 hours and a baby sound asleep in my arms, so I am typing at the goofiest angle, but if I do not seize the moment, then yet another day will pass without blogging.  And the sad thing is, I’m definitely not short on content…I am struggling to even pick a single topic right now and stay focused because there is so much I want to “discuss” with my readers, but time….time is my real enemy.  I cannot find enough hours in the day to fit in all that I want to do with my life.  I have so many well laid plans and schedules…..and then it all seems to go to Hell in a hand basket.  I get a fraction done that I set out to accomplish on any given day and then feel like I came up short as a mother, wife, daughter, friend, and we won’t even go there with the Me Time” thing!

I mean, how do people fit it all in?

The old adage is spot on….so much to do, and so little time to do it all.

Take my blog for instance.  It’s something I do for me.  I enjoy it.  It is the creative outlet that I need and crave.  The feedback has been resounding and I am making friends with women across the country that without this blog, I would have never gotten to “know”.  But, in order for me to keep up with it, I have to commit a chunk of every evening to it.  And since summer has started and we are doing more as a family….and doing it much later into the night, by the time I get  all the kids settled in for the night and I get my other daily “chores” taken care of, it’s midnight (if not later) and time for bed.  And aside from forgoing sleep at this point, I’m just struggling to get it all in.

I want to spend one on one time with my children…I want to do fun family activities that can only be squeezed into these brief months of summer…I want to write a book….I want to keep up with my exercising and weight loss efforts…. I want to spend time with friends I don’t get to see often enough…..I want, I want, I want!

Now I understand the theory….you have to take time for yourself if you want to be any good to anyone else….but that actually makes me laugh out loud.  The theory itself is great.  I get it.  But to actually do it….good luck!  Like I said, I would have to give up sleep at this point to manage everything.  And when I finally sit down at midnight and try to squeeze in my “Me Time”, well….I’m just spent and need to head to bed because I know I have two night time feedings yet ahead of me, morning will be here before I know it, and I’m back to running on the hamster wheel again…. (Yes, things are still going terribly bad with my daughter’s sleeping habits…you can read about that saga HERE).

So, I am going to do the best I can do.  I am going to “settle” more than I care to do.  I am going to make yet another commitment to myself to “take care of me” which I’m sure will last for at least 5 minutes.  And I’m going to give myself a break.  I’m going to cut myself some slack and acknowledge that running a home (that’s for sale), managing a family of 7, writing a blog, and being 0n a diet….all takes extreme amounts of time, energy, effort, and dedication and that sometimes I’m going to come up short.  I’m not always going to be the best mom or friend that I know I can and should be, but I’m doing the best I can and that will just have to be enough.

My children are leaving for their first “family” vacation with their dad’s side of the family this Thursday morning.  He is flying with the four kids (brave man) to Florida where he is meeting up with his sister, brother, brother-in-law, and parents.  They are spending a few days at the resort they rented for the week.  They are taking the kids to Universal Studios and Animal Kingdom.  They are also going to hit up a water park and spend a day or two at the beach.  A lovely vacation planned for my very blessed children.  The kids are are all very excited and can’t wait, but I must admit that my enthusiasm is not quite in check with theirs.

Honestly, my heart is breaking.  To call it “separation anxiety” would be putting it mildly!   In the 13 years that I have been a mother, I have never gone 8 days without seeing my children.  Even more difficult than the mere time apart is all that I am missing in their world while they are experiencing such a wonderful week in their young lives.  I can’t believe I am actually going to miss their first plane trip.  I won’t be there to see the anxious anticipation in their eyes as the plane starts to take off down the runway.  I won’t be there to witness the beauty held in my children’s smiles when they enter the magical world of Disney or the warmth in their spirits when they run down the beach and dive into the ocean.

I am also struggling with being relatively alone in my feelings of angst over the trip.   Aside from one close girlfriend, I do not have a single friend who is divorced with children.  So needless to say, nobody around me seems to understand how this feels for me.  Yes, I am probably having a bit of a pity party here…after all, it is my fault I’m divorced and this kind of stuff comes with the territory.  But I’m really not trying to… I’m just genuinely struggling with this new facet of being a divorced parent.  When you are surrounded by friends and acquaintances that don’t know what it feels like not to tuck their kids into bed every night, it’s hard for them to empathize with my situation….and hard for me to take all the well meaning comments like, “Oh, just enjoy the time off” or “I’m sure by day two you will be loving the peace and quiet”.  Unfortunately, I know all too well that it simply doesn’t work that way for me.

On most days, I have come to grips with my divorce and what that means in terms of my children.  I understand that there are birthday parties I miss out on and fun day-trips I do not get to experience with them; however, I just create my own special memories with them and try to put those missed moments out of my mind whenever possible.  I try my best to focus on the positive and remember that when they are not with me, they are with their very loving and deserving father.  But it’s the moments out of the norm…like sharing them on Christmas night….or a family vacation without their mother that still pulls on my heartstrings and sends me into a tailspin over my divorce.

So as I reflect on how difficult the next couple weeks are going to be for me to blindly feel my way through an abyss which is my home without my children, I think what hurts the most is that I won’t be in a single memory they create during this vacation….other than my obvious absence.

…and what’s a “family” vacation without a mom?! :0(

I try to be a reasonable woman and let’s face it; sometimes I fail miserably…usually when it comes to things I hold dear such as my children, husband, family or my home.  We are trying to sell our house, and I have a realtor to beat all realtors who just about put me over the edge today.    Granted, I have been incredibly sick all week and spent 3 hours in the emergency room last night just trying to breathe!  Needless to say, on the very few hours of sleep I had last night, coupled with this insane virus that has attacked my body and lungs and left me for dead, today was not the best day to blind side me quite as she did.

I received an email from her suggesting we do all sorts of crazy things to the house such as replace the thousands of dollars we spent on decorative stone with black mulch…throw up black shutters on one of the two windows we have on the front of the house, paint our front door black, and the real dozy…paint the exterior brick a solid dark blue!  Why all the black you may be asking yourself….she says it’s to match the black and grey roof and give the house “cohesiveness”.  Wow…just retyping it makes me feel dizzy and sorry for this woman because I’m afraid she may be color blind and nobody has had the heart to tell her all these years.  Well, today I was more than happy to let her in on the secret!

Honestly, the real kicker for me is that there is literally not a speck of black in our roof…or on the house anywhere for that matter!!  The roof is a darker grey…just a few shades darker than the light grey siding in order to add some depth and contrast to the house.  I’m afraid if we start throwing in all the black she is suggesting, we are going to look like we moved out and the Adam’s family moved in!

She said she really wants the front to “pop” and I guess making my home look like it just received a beat down from the neighbor’s home is her way of doing just that.  Perhaps the new marketing scheme is pity…”oh look honey, that house is all black and blue (with a hint of grey)…it kind of reminds me of that black eye you got last year when you gallantly stood tall against that drunk guy that hit on me at the bar.  I was so proud to pick you up off the floor that night and drag you back to the car.  Let’s buy it!”

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to offend anyone who may have shutters on one front window, a black door, or painted brick as this all needs to be taken into context, but for our home, what she is suggesting just doesn’t work.  And I love black as an accent color, just not for this particular house.  Granted, the yard could really use some sprucing up and a little more curb appeal, which we are happy to tackle, but words fail me when I read what she had in mind.  And how do you say tactfully, “I’m sorry, but we just think that painting everything black and blue is going to make our home look more like an eye sore, than eye catching?!”  Well, as I precluded to earlier in this post, I was not nearly as tactful as perhaps I should have been when I fired back an email suggesting she get her eye’s checked and give me a call once she has glasses! ;0)

Let’s just chalk it up to another rough day to close out what was a very rough week.  Tomorrow is Friday and there’s always hope for a better weekend!

It is officially summer vacation in our home and I cannot even begin to articulate how elated I am about that declaration!  My children have emptied their desks and brought home every single nub of eraser and inch long pencil they have accumulated at school over the past year.  All the artwork that has adorned the walls at school are now scattered across my kitchen just awaiting their placement on either the fridge, cupboards, or the ever-esteemed patio doors.

I went grocery shopping yesterday so I am well prepared (for at least the first 3 days) for all the elaborate breakfasts we will make together that we don’t have time for during the school year.  The refrigerator is stocked up with all the essentials for our backyard cookouts.  The cupboards are brimming with all the treats and goodies needed for the million snack breaks my children will have to take “or we are just going to die of starvation if we have to wait for dinner, mom!”  And the freezer is full of those wonderful and most essential parts of summer…the freezy pops!  I just cannot wait to start picking up those empty plastic sleeves all over the yard and the snipped off ends lying randomly all over the kitchen counters!  

Summer is truly my favorite season and it has little to do with the weather.  I can’t even tell you how nice it is to be “off” for the summer!   As a stay-at-home mom, it’s like reliving your summer vacations as a child growing up.  And I’m not insinuating that having the kids home all day, every day is easy.  I’m sure I will need to go back and read this post roughly two weeks into summer to remind myself about how much I have been eagerly awaiting this time.  When I have heard my millionth “I’m board!” and my whistle is broken already from playing referee, I know I will need to practice my deep breathing and remember how I long for this time with my children.  Aside from the normal chaos with having 5 children under the same roof 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for approximately 3 months, our lives are truly much more enjoyable and relaxing during summer break.

The biggest plans we make are going to softball and soccer games, having campfires, and taking long walks through the nature center.  Going swimming at the local pool, hitting up every zoo in the area, and exploring the wide range of state parks are our biggest missions during these special and limited summer months.  Staying up late at night to roast marshmallows and count the stars, lying in the grass trying to identify cloud formations, and slathering on the sunscreen before heading to a new beach we’ve never explored before are moments that simply cannot be matched by any other time of year.  

There are no tests to study for…no homework to eat up our evenings together.  I don’t have to share my children with their teachers.  I don’t have to spread myself so thin trying to volunteer for everything the school needs help with.  No running ragged to practices and extracurricular events.  It’s just us….and we have all the time in the world to do whatever we want to do.

Not only do I get the much-needed time with my children without the hustle and bustle of the outside world, but they get the time with each other.  They get reacquainted with their siblings and have the time to reinforce the bond that can only be formed between brothers and sisters working together to build the best sand castle on the beach or making tent forts in the living room, on a rainy day, with couch cushions and blankets.  

We create the best memories during this time of year, and I’m so blessed to be home with my babies for these few precious but fleeting months of summer!

My oldest son, Bailey, attended his first girl-boy party this afternoon.  He is 11 years old and proudly, just graduated from the 5th grade today!  A female classmate of his decided to throw an end of the year party and invite both the girls and guys.  My first reaction when he asked if he could go was, “NO!”….Plain and simple.  

Now, I did not say that aloud.  I told him I would have to think about it and get the details from the girl’s mom, but I was just saying that as a courtesy to him.  I had already made up my mind that he wasn’t going.  I was not about to turn over my baby boy to these vulture girls who just look at him like a piece of meat!  

Ok, maybe it’s not quite that bad, but seriously…I was feeling that he is too young to encourage the small exchanges that start to happen at his age between the sexes.  I know it’s a part of the reality of him getting older, but I certainly wasn’t going to be antagonizing the inevitable by allowing him to attend this mixed gala.  I felt like it was a threshold we had not crossed yet, and I really wasn’t equipped to go there with him already.  I mean, I am still grappling with my daughter’s maturing body and hormones flying everywhere, I certainly do not feel emotionally prepared to start dealing with my son’s pre-pubescent issues too!

Well, after giving it more than a moment’s thought, I realized that perhaps my initial reaction was a bit over the top and dramatic.  Honestly, I’m certain I have more to worry about when it comes to the boy-girl party scene when my son is a couple years older than I do right now.  I decided that if I let him go, we are opening Pandora’s Box….and I am going to need to choose my battles very carefully in the preceding years, so perhaps this was not a battle worth fighting for at this time.  

After conferring with a few friends who also have sons that were invited, we were all hesitant, but decided to let our boys go.  No…I don’t always turn to my friends to make decisions about what my son can and cannot do, but I do feel there is power in numbers….and if he was going to be there with his buddies, perhaps the enticement of football would overpower the allure of the girls in bathing suites.  Wishful thinking…I know…but it’s what lets me sleep at night so allow me to go with it.  

The party seemed to go well.  Bailey came home and said he had tons of fun…so no harm, no foul.   I guess what really surprised me the most was how much I feel the same about my daughter’s interaction with the opposite sex as I do with my son’s sudden interaction.  I really thought that I would feel differently about my boys entering this phase in their lives then I do about my daughter.  Much to my surprise, I don’t feel differently at all!  

I want to protect his virtue as much as I want to protect my daughters.  I want to keep him innocent as long as humanly possible; just as I want to with my daughter.  I want to shelter him from the inevitable heartaches and heartbreak that are bound to come his way once mingling with the opposite sex.  I want to spare him the ensuing drama that comes along with allowing girls to enter his “boy’s club”.

 And more than anything, I want to raise an honorable man just as I want to raise an honorable woman….so the bar is raised….and I just pray I am up to the challenge of juggling both the sexes in my care!

One of the hardest parts of the “stay-at-home” mom job is that there are no sick days.  If I wake up with a killer migraine headache, as I did this morning, I cannot just call up my 5 children, tell them that mommy is feeling sick today so she won’t be in, and crawl back into bed like I wanted to do.

Instead, I had to drag myself out of bed, put on sun glasses to try and shade the light from my eyes (for any of you who have ever suffered from a migraine, you will understand the light sensitivity component to the headache), and carry about my morning as if nothing were wrong.  Natalie needed to be changed, fed, and thoroughly entertained.  We are attempting to sell our house, so along with the phone call from the realtor asking to show the house, came the instant panic over getting the house “show worthy”.  Needless to say, I had more than my share of cleaning to do this morning.  I also had to bake two dozen cookies for a function being held at my children’s school this evening.

 And again, all I really wanted to do was stay in my PJ’s and bury my head under the blankets until the immense stabbing pain in my brain and acute nausea subsided….no such luck!

So, I did what all super-mom’s do…I took care of business!  No calling in….no breaks…no sick day.  I took care of the baby.  I cleaned the house. I did roughly 18 loads of laundry.  I organized the kids’ closets, rotated their summer clothes up front, and pushed the winter gear to the back.   And I bought some of the freshest cookies I could score at the local bakery…took them out of the box and placed them in a container I brought with me from home…and brought them to school without an ounce a guilt over not slaving away personally on the baked goods.  

 I know that we all have days like I did today, and I realized that mother’s pull off days like this all the time without anyone thinking twice about it.  Well today ladies, I am thinking twice.

 I am commending each and everyone one of you who have spent the entire night up with a sick child only to turn around, splash some water on your face, and carry on for another day.

 I want to recognize all of the moms out there that work 40 plus hours a week and still find a way to keep up with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and juggling act that we all struggle with.

 Today I want to acknowledge all the women that suffer through migraine headaches, or severe back pain, or asthma, or arthritis…and much, much worse….with smiles on their faces and love in their hearts.

 We are strong.  We are amazing creatures.  God truly graced us with gifts and talents like no man I know.  So even if nobody else notices how hard you work or what you sacrifice for your family, find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.  There is truly a sisterhood of mothers amongst you.  

And find strength in knowing that even when no one else notices…God is always there with open arms to give you the “atta girl” that you so warmly deserve!