I know we all struggle to keep up during the holidays. It seems that the more I accomplish….shopping, decorating, baking, Christmas concerts, and Thanksgiving hosting, the longer my list gets. That’s right, as I cross off one item, I add two or three more things I need to get done. It’s crazy; it’s overwhelming; but it’s the holiday season in a big family….with lots of children…..and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’d love to share with you the in’s and out’s of last week for our family…..just a snip-it of all the immeasurable blessings in my life, and the moments I am so grateful for this Thanksgiving.

What a busy week we had!  I had my 20 week ultrasound, 6 conferences, a tutoring session, a dentist appointment, 2 basketball practices, 2 volleyball games, Avery’s First Reconciliation, the New Moon midnight premier, a birthday party…..and a partridge in a pear tree!

The best part of reflecting on this week is that it really wasn’t that much busier than most weeks in our home.  With a house full of seven (and a peanut on the way), the calendar is bound to be full of events and activities to keep us moving.   Most of the time, I just take it one day at a time. I look at the calendar and only stress over today’s events because when I try to process an entire week’s worth of activities….or God forbid I get brave enough to look at the entire month….my head starts spinning, I get a headache, and feel overwhelmed to the point of paralysis.  So, I have learned over the years to only look at today’s events. I do peek at tomorrow, just so I know what present needs to be picked up or what item I volunteered to make for the teacher’s luncheon, but I try not to allow myself to exert any energy into tomorrow because I know I need it all just to get through today!

I could write a new post about each of the events listed in the second paragraph. Take the ultrasound, for example. I want to tell you how amazing it was.  The baby is growing perfectly (even a week ahead of schedule) and all his or her parts are accounted for and working perfectly.  It’s impossible to look a images of this perfectly formed angel doing summer salts in my uterus….who is no larger than a can of soda……and not know that God exists.  Nothing this fine tuned and perfect could be created by chance.  And my will power was bar none this time around. Since it’s definitely our last baby, I really wanted the sex to be a surprise at birth. I have found out the sex of the other 5 children at the 20-week ultrasound so I wasn’t convinced I could hold out. I was so proud and excited when I walked out of the appointment and did NOT know the sex! So now, I have even more to look forward to when the baby arrives!

I could write several posts about how conferences went. Meeting with 6 teachers about 4 children’s progress in school thus far is an experience in and of itself. I am happy to say that all in all, the reports were great and the kids are right on track. The kids all have wonderful, dedicated teachers this year that truly care for the kid’s wellbeing. I guess as a mom, I could not ask for more than that.

I would love to take the time to update everyone on Avery’s progress with his tutoring. It’s going unbelievably well and the progress he’s made in such a short time has been nothing short of astounding! I am nearly moved to tears with each session I sit in on because I see him thriving, reading, and spelling with ease. I am so relieved that we found him the help he needs and the help he deserves at an early age.

Avery also got to make the sacrament of Reconciliation last week, which is another “rite of passage” in our Catholic faith. It was moving to see him sitting with the priest and the huge smile he had when he walked back to us beaming with pride. Just another moment that reminded me that my baby boy is growing up faster than I can emotionally handle!

And the highlight to close out our week was the New Moon premier that Kylie and I went to see. I made a promise to her months and months ago that I would take her to the midnight showing when it finally came out. Of course, at the time I didn’t put much thought into staying up until 3am, so when the time rolled around to buy the tickets for the 12:01am showing, I held my breath and purchased them anyway. I had many people last week telling me I was nuts for doing such a thing, but I made a promise to my baby girl, and no amount of sleep was worth breaking my word to her. I always preach to my children that they should never make a promise they don’t intend to keep because “promises are a big deal” so it was time to put my words into action. I cannot even express the joy it brings me to have a 13 year old who is even willing to be seen with her mother at the movies, much less the honor I felt by accompanying her to the premier of the most anticipated movie of the year. I want to express the importance of finding common ground at this stage in our children’s lives, even if it’s just sharing a love for a series of vampire books. The movie was awesome, but the memories we created sitting in the theater for SIX hours will be with me forever. That time alone with her will be time I will cherish in my heart forever!

So while I would LOVE to write a new post for all the events we enjoyed last week, I am just too exhausted to write anything articulate or worthy of your time to read. I guess this post summarizing a week in the life of our family will have to do as my Thanksgiving tribute.

I cannot express how grateful I am for sharing such a crazy, hectic life with my amazing family. God is so good to me, and I am so unworthy of such blessings. So while He continues to grant me such grace and abundant blessings, I will continue to be grateful for every moment…. no matter how hectic life gets.

Happy Thanksgiving to each and all of you, and I will continue to pray for plentiful blessings for you and your beautiful families.

I was speaking to a close friend of mine the other day who is also a stay-at-home mom.  She was talking about how bad she felt that she hadn’t played with her daughter in weeks…..you know…..that sitting down, no distractions, kind of playing.  We were discussing how busy life is, if it’s even possible to slow it down, and that there is just too much to do in one day.  She was determined to stay home for the day and get her house cleaned, but then felt bad because she felt like she was neglecting her daughter.

If on this one day they weren’t going to be running ragged then should she not be playing with her daughter all day instead of worrying about cleaning the house?

I could relate to what she was saying so vividly because I too have struggled with that over the years.  The guilt, albeit unnecessary guilt, that we put on ourselves as mothers seems to be never-ending.  We always feel like we are coming up short and we are because unfortunately, we are striving for perfection and it does not exist in human form.

If I’m running endless errands for days on end, I feel terrible that my child is rushed through eating a fast food lunch and taking her nap in the car as I drive to the next stop on my list.  If we are finally staying home for the day, I feel compelled to clean the house that has been neglected, catch up on laundry, and make a nice meal for the family to enjoy.

Entertaining the child or children at home seems to take a back burner to all the chores, but it’s a catch 22 because you’re either feeling guilty over not playing or feeling guilty about all the chores lining up.  There is no way to win and it’s a never-ending battle of balance.  How do we balance our time between the endless demands that life puts on us and the even larger set of demands we put on ourselves to be these perfect parents?

While I rarely have useful advice to dole out…mind you, the emphasis is on “useful“…I had a moment of clarity this morning that I offered my friend.  It is something I have had to remind myself of over the years, and it really is all about balance.  True, there are the days when everything needs to be set aside…..forget about the cooking, cleaning, and errands…..pull up a piece of carpet, sit down with your child, and just be in the moment with them.  Play with them, entertain them, teach them…truly give them your undivided attention.  Nothing else really matters in this life and everything else can wait.

However, there is also something to be said for just being home with them.  As stay-at-home moms, we put this unrealistic demand on ourselves that if we don’t work outside the home, then we should be there to be our child’s entertainment 100% of the time…. and as unpopular as my opinion may be with some of the “experts”, I don’t completely agree with that.

I mean, if they were in a childcare center, they would not have a one-on-one caregiver assigned to them to follow them around all day long and cater to their every whim and fancy.  If they are in school, they need to share their teacher’s attention with 20+ other children.  I feel it’s actually a disservice to our kids to make them feel like they are the only thing in the world that deserves attention because as they get older, they have to learn the hard way that this is not true at all.  They will need to share the attention of their caregivers for the rest of their lives.  And there is nothing more demanding than a toddler or pre-schooler who doesn’t know how to entertain themselves or use their imagination. I’m not suggesting that our children are not the most important people in the world; I’m saying that they are not the only thing that needs attention in this world.

I can say this because I made that mistake with my first two children.  I had my first two children within 17 months of each other and back then….I had the time to sit around with them all day and play with them.  We lived in a tiny little apartment that took less than 30 minutes to clean.  We had a fraction of the laundry we currently have so that only needed to be done a couple times a week. We only had one car so when their dad was at work, I was “grounded” in the apartment so running errands wasn’t even an option.  I felt like the best mom in the world because my children were never in front of the TV. We played all day long together, and by 17 months old, right before her brother was born, I had taught Kylie all her shapes, colors, and quite a bit of the alphabet.   By the time she was 2, she was “reading” entire books to us (she really just had them memorized, but regardless, she had entire books memorized).

As our family grew, so did the house and the responsibilities.  I no longer had the time to play all day long with children 3, 4, and 5 and there is a marked difference in their personalities because of it.  My first two children struggled considerably as they got older to entertain themselves.  They did not have the ability to sit down with a puzzle or a bag of blocks and use their imagination.  They constantly wanted me to do it for them, and I realized then that I had done a huge disservice for them by constantly being their playmate.

My younger children, even to this day, are much more content to just “be”.  They do not always need to be around friends.  They do not constantly need me to tell them what they could be doing for fun.  And they know how to be content with playing quietly next to me instead of always playing with me.  What I did with my first two children was create a measure of “high maintenance” personalities.  And today, I take comfort in knowing that while my 16 month old may not know her colors or shapes yet, she does know how to pick up her toys and care for her belongings….something she is learning from watching me pick up the house…..something my older two kids never saw me do.

So again, I think it is all about balance.  I will push aside the dirty dishes to put together a puzzle with my little one, but I will also teach her how to be content with coloring next to mommy as I fold laundry.  And I truly believe that none of my children will ever remember whether or not they played more with me or played more next to me….what I pray they will remember when they look back on their childhood is that I was ALWAYS there!

I was there to make them lunch every afternoon, and I always made their PB & J with the crusts cut off just how they like it. I was there to snuggle them in for every nap with their favorite blankie. I was the one who took them to the pool in the summer and the museum each winter. I provided a clean, safe, loving environment for them to spend their days in….and a fun, active home for them to enjoy. I was there to kiss away the boo-boos and teach them how to share with others.

And perhaps when they become adults, they will realize that I was the one who put aside my personal goals to make sure I was always there to foster their dreams.

This is one of those Laugh out Loud moments that only your child can give you…..

Avery, my youngest son, is not a big fan of cereal.  He has never eaten it…..prior to this week.  He has always been more of a “meat and potatoes” kid (even at 7am), so when he was downing bowls of Cookie Crisp all week, both my husband and I found it rather perplexing. As I was removing the box from the table this morning, I was shocked to see that he single handedly finished off the entire box in 4 days time.   And then the light bulb finally went on…..

There is a dinosaur mask on the back of the box that he asked me to cut out for him earlier in the week.  I told him that I would cut up the box as soon as the cereal was all gone, figuring that eventually his brothers and sisters would eat it.  But waiting on others to get a job done is not something that Avery is known for.  So Avery being Avery….instead of whining and begging me to do it right away….or waiting around for his siblings to eat the cereal…..he quietly realized that there was a job to be done, and if he wanted that mask he would need to step up to the plate and get it done.

I cannot believe that he worked religiously at eating that box of cereal every morning even though he hates cereal just to get to the reward at the end of the “grueling” task.   I laughed out loud when I realized what was going on……and to Avery’s tenacity, determination, and work ethic….I solute you my little 7 year old diplomat!!!  I am truly impressed  ;o)

Well, it is official!  My very favorite time of year has begun!  I absolutely, unequivocally love the Christmas season!  I start decorating my house right around the 1^st of November and it does not come down until January 1st.  I would probably leave it up even longer, but once I gave birth to my son on January 2nd, I decided that I never wanted Christmas to run into his birthday.  I’ve always felt like he kind of gets “jipped” anyway being born so close to the holidays, that taking down my massive display of decorations before his big day was just a small way I could see to it that his birthday remained as special as it deserves to be.

Anyway, I get tons of slack from my friends for decorating so early and believe me, when Corey became a part of this family; he didn’t take to the tradition that well at first either.  As a matter of fact, we were just talking today about the first Christmas we were together and he specifically remembers me decorating like a crazy person well into the wee hours of the morning….and it was only the first week in November.  He thought I had lost my mind, but he has come to accept, and dare I say, enjoy my enthusiasm over this great holiday season.  Moreover, I decorate so big that to go through days of work only to enjoy it for a couple of weeks, just doesn’t make sense to me.

I would be remiss to not mention that while friends may tease me, my family thinks nothing of it. Starting with my grandma and my mom and working its way down to even my aunts and cousins…everyone in my family decorates early and decorates BIG! My grandma’s balcony at her apartment complex is blinking and twinkling brightly before Thanksgiving and she leaves it up until nearly February. My mom….oh my goodness….words fail me when it comes to my mom’s holiday décor. She truly should be working for Macy’s or some other massive department store. She adorns dozens of pine trees with lights, outlines her entire home with lights, eliminates the pathway to the front door with an array of candy canes and snowmen lanterns and that’s just the outside, which is quite understated compared to the inside. When you walk into her home, it is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It’s truly a magical experience and every year, she somehow manages to outdo herself. I mean, I’m not exaggerating here when I say she could sell tickets, put up velvet ropes in front of her displays, and allow people to tour the Winter Wonderland that is Victoria’s home. I think the last time I counted, she puts up roughly 10 trees and they all carry a different theme. My favorite is her Doctor Seuss tree. She has such a gift for decorating that I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that at Christmas, it’s no different. We all decorate big, but compared to my mom….well, she’s definitely in a league of her own.

So, as people are asking me “don’t you think it’s kind of early to be decorating for Christmas already?” To these nay-sayers, I simply point out that if the local radio stations start playing Christmas music on November 1^st, then I clearly have a green light to start the festivities!

I love it, the kids love it and look forward to it each year, and Corey has been gracious enough to accept it, so no matter how insane people think I am, I am going to continue the tradition, which means decorating starts this week…….let the holidays begin!! ;o)