Do you know that sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach sometimes or that lump in your throat when you need to cry but you are fighting back the tears??? That’s how I felt after reading a dear friend’s blog earlier this evening.

I call Ethel Mae Potter a dear friend and yet I’ve never even met her.  I know her purely by sharing a love of her writing with many, many other fans of hers.  Her writing style has such finesse and when she tells a story, it’s as vivid with details as a Thomas Kinkade portrait. I stumbled upon her blog after she posted a comment to one of my first posts, and we have been blogging “buddies” ever since.

Anyway, I read her most recent post and she is truly going through some rough times right now.  Financial worries for her aging parents, family members with addiction issues, and her own health is in question now over some seizures she has been experiencing for no apparent reason.  I sat for quite a while after reading her description of life as she knows it these days, and I wanted to weep for all that she is going through.  I can’t pretend to know what she’s feeling, as I have never battled cancer or had sudden seizures creep up on me.   I think all of us on some level can relate to worrying over our parents or financial struggles….and I definitely know what’s it’s like to live with a family member’s addiction, but to even try to claim I know how she feels would be a blatant lie.

So….for the first time in quite a while…..words failed me.  I wanted to post a comment on her site.  I wanted to offer her words of encouragement or say something that might lift her spirits.  But instead, I just sat there staring at my computer screen with tears welling up in my eyes.  I  just sat there praying to God that she is going to be ok because when I count my blessings each night, I thank God for this woman and the inspiration she has brought to my life with her words…with her honesty….with her beautiful, colorful,  rich stories.

In just the short time I have gotten to know her….as much as you can come to know a complete stranger who bares her soul for all the world to read….I pray that she will be well again soon.

I am firm believer in the old adage that all people come to us for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime.  And with Ethel Mae Potter….this world needs her for a lifetime!

It’s nearly Christmas and I always appreciate how this time of year seems to make all of us just a bit more cognizant of our blessings.  I love to look back over the year and reflect on all we have achieved and experienced over the past 365 days.  I relish the rewards of our hard work, thank God for the struggles that only brought our family closer together and made us stronger than before, and I always pause in awe of all the blessings I have to be grateful for.

I’ve always been the type who never feels worthy enough of such gifts from God.  Every year my life seems to get better and better….and I have to ask God, “Why me?”  I just don’t understand what I have ever done to deserve such immeasurable good fortune.

Anytime something goes wrong in my life…anytime we hit a rough patch in the road or things feel like they are falling apart….those are the times I seem to understand the most.  I never question “why me” during the difficult times.  It always seems crystal clear as to why I need to struggle….what I’ve done wrong to deserve such strife.

But the good times….the gifts like my amazing husband, wonderful children, loving parents, and true friends….those are the blessings that I just can’t wrap my brain around. Why do I get to experience such overwhelming joy?

Why am I so blessed to have found my soul mate when there are so many other lonely people in this world?

Why do I get to watch my children grow into amazing young men and women when there are parents every day that have to watch their children suffer and die from illness?

Why am I given the gift of good health when so many other much more deserving people out there do not have the same blessings?

So as I ponder the last year of my life….as I reflect upon my numerous blessings….I am brought to my knees in gracious thanksgiving for all that God has brought to my world….both the good and the bad!

I pray as well that this holiday season finds you all happy, healthy, and full of God’s grace.

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to all!

So…..(and yes, this post needs to start with the word “So”)…..

So….I was getting the kids their breakfast the other morning before school…..I could barely peel my eyes open, and I’m certain I was still half-asleep. I was stumbling through our kitchen with a hope and a prayer that the boxes of cereal I had put on the table were indeed Cocoa Pebbles and not Minute Rice.

I have never been a morning person, but I really thought that would change as I got older and had children.  I mean, the days of staying up half the night and then getting to sleep in until noon have passed me by decades ago already, so I figured that eventually……eventually, I would have no problem hopping out of bed at the butt-crack of dawn each day.

I had an image of what mornings would feel like once I made the adjustment and joined the “early bird” club.  You know the image….birds chirping as they place my robe upon my shoulders and tiny little critters nudging my slippers towards my feet.  I would hop out of bed without so much as a hint of longing for my nice, warm bed….stretch my arms into the air and breathe in deeply with a smile on my face…..excited and eager to welcome the day before me.

Well, it’s been 13 years since I had my first child….since sleeping in was exchanged for children lobbing empty Sippy cups at my head yelling, “Mommy, Mommy, wake up…I want some milky” …..and I am STILL NOT A MORNING PERSON!  I am night owl through and through.  And no matter how exhausted I am in the morning when I drag my sorry butt out of bed….or how tired I get right around 2pm every day….I always seem to hit my stride right around 8pm and I’m raren’ to go until at least midnight each night.  My body screams at me to go to bed….especially when I’m this pregnant, but my mind is never on the same page at night.  I get my best ideas, my biggest inspirations, and my largest burst of energy right about the time everyone else is turning in for the night.

SO….when the alarm clock is SCREAMING at me to wake up when I’ve merely just fallen into a deep sleep, I struggle to keep a level head in the mornings.

Anyway, as I was saying….I was gathering the numerous boxes of cereal for the kid’s breakfast, and much to my chagrin, there were no clean bowls in the cupboard.  I glanced down at the dishwasher just praying to God that the “clean” light was on so I wasn’t going to have to try and wash dishes by hand with only one eye open as my other eye refused to cooperate quite yet.  You can picture my joy….sheer joy…..when I saw that bright, red “clean” light lit up like a Christmas tree.  I grabbed the kids their bowls and spoons, everyone scarfed down their breakfast, and we were out of the door on time for a change.

SO….you can imagine my surprise when my husband, Corey, came home that afternoon for a rare lunchtime visit…..opened up the dishwasher and said, “Wow, I guess using soap really does make a difference!”

Me:  ”What?”  ”Could you please repeat that?”

Corey:  ”Well, we were out of soap last night when I was doing the dishes so I just loaded the dishwasher and ran it without soap anyway.”

Me:  silent….mouth hanging open…..

Corey: “I guess I didn’t think the soap really did that much.  I figured it was more the hot water that cleaned the food off, but looking at these dishes, I can see that the soap really makes a difference because these are all still really dirty!”

Me:  still silent….jaw still dropped open…..and utterly speechless that the dishes I served my children’s breakfast with were dirty….speechless that I was so out of it that morning that I didn’t even notice that they didn’t look clean….and utterly dumbfounded that my husband was so unsure of the necessity of soap that he rolled the dice and decided to run his own little experiment with our dishes without notifying his sleep deprived wife of his latest science experiment!

What else could I do but LOL…..