Do you know that sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach sometimes or that lump in your throat when you need to cry but you are fighting back the tears??? That’s how I felt after reading a dear friend’s blog earlier this evening.
I call Ethel Mae Potter a dear friend and yet I’ve never even met her. I know her purely by sharing a love of her writing with many, many other fans of hers. Her writing style has such finesse and when she tells a story, it’s as vivid with details as a Thomas Kinkade portrait. I stumbled upon her blog after she posted a comment to one of my first posts, and we have been blogging “buddies” ever since.
Anyway, I read her most recent post and she is truly going through some rough times right now. Financial worries for her aging parents, family members with addiction issues, and her own health is in question now over some seizures she has been experiencing for no apparent reason. I sat for quite a while after reading her description of life as she knows it these days, and I wanted to weep for all that she is going through. I can’t pretend to know what she’s feeling, as I have never battled cancer or had sudden seizures creep up on me. I think all of us on some level can relate to worrying over our parents or financial struggles….and I definitely know what’s it’s like to live with a family member’s addiction, but to even try to claim I know how she feels would be a blatant lie.
So….for the first time in quite a while…..words failed me. I wanted to post a comment on her site. I wanted to offer her words of encouragement or say something that might lift her spirits. But instead, I just sat there staring at my computer screen with tears welling up in my eyes. I just sat there praying to God that she is going to be ok because when I count my blessings each night, I thank God for this woman and the inspiration she has brought to my life with her words…with her honesty….with her beautiful, colorful, rich stories.
In just the short time I have gotten to know her….as much as you can come to know a complete stranger who bares her soul for all the world to read….I pray that she will be well again soon.
I am firm believer in the old adage that all people come to us for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime. And with Ethel Mae Potter….this world needs her for a lifetime!
Thursday, 31. December 2009
Sara.
Sara.
I glanced at this last night, before I went to bed, but my heart almost burst at your opening words, and I could not finish.
Today, recomposed, I am still overwhelmed that you, my very, very dear friend, found it in your heart and busy schedule to write this beautiful piece about me, about my fears and anxieties, about the all-too-real nightmare I find myself living these days, and about our cyber friendship.
Thank you is so woefully inadequate.
The post I wrote began as a blatant attempt to win a Disney World vacation giveaway. There were rules: the title, the inclusion of the sponsor’s paragraph and link to their site. I had known about this contest for months, but the required title, “Why I need a Disney Vacation” put me off: sure, I WANTED a Disney vacation, but…NEED? Why would anyone NEED a Disney vacation? So, much as I wanted to win that trip, I didn’t enter. And I kept my problems hidden from almost everyone…even my parents don’t know anything about my new health concerns…they have enough problems of their own.
And then, lying on the MRI table, all these thoughts whirling through my mind, I realized I DID need a Disney vacation; I HAD my story.
But…did I really want to share it? Did I really want everyone to know what was happening in my life? Getting it onto paper…or keyboard, rather…was difficult, and it actually took more than two weeks to compose, for the editing, so as to minimize the abhorrent behavior of some family members, was intense, and several times, I just gave up altogether. But in the end, I felt relief; relief that I had shared with my friends…and certainly, some strangers…my recent concerns.
I ask not for your pity, but your prayers are certainly welcome. I have confidence everything will work out, one way or another. I believe that something good can come from any situation; my cancer scare, for instance, gave me renewed appreciation for the simplicities in life and time off from work gave to me relaxation for the first time in years.
Dear, darling Sara, you wanted to offer words of encouragement or comfort?
I feel that every time I see your sweet name.
Love,
Ethelmae