I know I’ve been rather lax in my blogging the last few months and I have made a renewed commitment to start posting more regularly. You may wonder what’s been going on in my life lately and I’m not quite sure where to begin. Other than moving, the holidays, remodeling our home, being due with child #6 in less than 2 months, I guess things have been pretty tame here other than the normal level of chaos we have come to expect.

Oh yes, I guess there is one other thing……THE OPRAH SHOW CALLED AND WE ARE POTENTIAL CANDIDATES TO BE ON THE SHOW!!!!! The crew may be stopping by my house this weekend or sometime next week to start taping a segment with Dr. Laura Berman.

Let me preface this entire story by stating that it is not a for sure thing as we will not know if we have been selected until the end of the week. They have talked to hundreds of couples about the issue and are still in the process of interviewing people for this particular episode. What I can say is that for right now, we are one of the “front runners” in being selected for the show and that is truly all we know at this time.

So with that disclaimer in place….allow me to share how we got to this point.

It was last April (2009), when I was perusing the Oprah.com website. I DVR Oprah each day and watch her religiously in the evenings. I get the kids tucked in at night and then curl up for some good old-fashioned talk show action. My husband, Corey, has even come to join me on most evenings to watch and see what the diva of talk shows is dishing about.

I have grown to love the episodes with Dr. Laura Berman, the sex, marriage, relationship therapist that Oprah regularly features on the show. She is so blatant, open, and honest about sex, and especially women’s sexual health, that I find her unrestrained attitude refreshing in a world where women talking openly about sex is usually considered taboo. I have always been one of those women that are not afraid to say the word “sex” or to talk about my revved up sex drive.

It wasn’t until I came across the “Ask Dr. Laura a Question” link on Oprah’s website, that I even realized I had a question. But I saw the button, clicked on it, and just started writing. By the time I was done, I had gone WAY over the 2000 character limit and had to cut down my submission considerably. But after my tweaking and editing, I realized that in my story, I really did have a question for the world famous Doctor.

What is wrong with me? Is something wrong with me? I have the libido typically described by men. I too, as the stereotype goes for men, think about and want sex all the time. But any time I ever discuss this issue with girlfriends, I get one of two reactions: either they look at me blankly like I’m speaking a foreign language or they literally laugh out loud at me (lovingly laugh at me, of course). Not a single friend of mine could ever relate to wanting sex more than their husbands did, just as I could never relate to needing to beat my husband off me with a stick.

So as I was writing my submission to Oprah, I realized that I often feel like a freak of nature. I avoid the topic now because I feel that no other women can relate. I don’t blog about it like I want to because I have come to feel that I am the only woman on earth struggling with this type of role reversal in her marriage. And that was the bottom line for me….am I really the only woman out there that feels this way or are there others like me, but it’s just not talked about?

I hit the “submit” button and didn’t give it a second thought. I also sent my submission to Corey just so I wasn’t doing anything behind his back that might end up coming back to bite me in the butt. He knows how I feel and he also knows that this has been an issue in our marriage for quite some time, especially since the birth of our daughter, so I don’t think he was overly surprised by my candidness nor did he seem to mind. Like me, I think he read it and thought nothing more would come of it.

Well, just a couple months after I sent in my submission, I received an email from an Oprah staff member asking me for more details about who I am and my story. So, I wrote back. I was open and honest about the strain that the reversed libidos in my home has created between Corey and I, and I was candid about how I feel. I again hit “send”….sent a copy to Corey so he was still on board with what I was doing, and that was the end of it…..UNTIL last week!

An unknown area code and phone number popped up on my caller ID last week Friday so I didn’t answer the call. I was busy and figured if it wasn’t a wrong number, they would leave me a message and I would get back to them. Much to my surprise, a voicemail was left so I retrieved the message with little anticipation of who it could be. I assumed it was some random telemarketer trying to sell me new windows or some politician pleading for my support on some referendum he’s trying to pass on Capitol Hill. You can imagine my shock and dismay when the voice on the other line stated, “Hello Sara, this is Chelsey from the Oprah show…”!! WHAT? Could you repeat that? I actually had to listen to the message 3 times before it sank in that the Oprah show was actually calling me about some email I sent in over 10 months ago!

I called Corey immediately to tell him that a screener from the show had called me and wanted me to call her back to talk further about possibly doing a show regarding my submission. I asked him if he was ok with me calling her back….of course I was dying to call her back, but I was not willing to do so unless I had his full support. After all, talking about our sex life on national television is a pretty intimate and personal issue. Even though this was just going to be a screening to see if we were likely candidates for the show…the potential was there that it would go as far as an actual episode, so I needed his complete support and permission to take this any further. He laughed aloud as he always does when he gets nervous…sat there for just a moment giving it some thought…and then said, “Sure, go for it! It’s Oprah for God’s sake!” And thank God for his reaction because that is exactly what I was thinking. I mean, when the Oprah show calls….you answer! (or in this case, you call back)!!

So, I dialed up Chelsey and we spoke for over 30 minutes. She asked me very frank questions about our sex life, and I answered her with complete honesty…holding back nothing. I figured, either she’s going to like what I have to say or not, but candy coating our situation or lying about the issue isn’t going to do anyone any favors. If they really want to do a show about this topic, I might as well be as sincere as I can be and if it’s what they are looking for…great…and if not, at least I was true to myself, my husband, and our marriage.

After our conversation wrapped up, she asked if she could speak to Corey about the subject. I told her that he may not be quite as frank with her as I was, but I’m sure he would be open to answering some streamlined questions about the topic. He called her and left a message and she returned his call on Saturday. He went into the bedroom to take the phone call as I paced outside the bedroom door eve’s dropping on what he had to say. Much to my surprise, he was as candid with her as I had been.

So after both phone conversations and a string of emails, we will find out sometime by the end of this week if we will be selected to be on the show. If we are, there will most likely be a segment taped at our home with Dr. Berman (yes, that’s correct…this world-renowned author and therapist will be sitting in my home) and then a final segment taped in Chicago with Miss Oprah herself!

I have talked in length with Corey about whether or not we can really do this. Can we really sit on national television openly and honestly discussing our sex life? The conclusion we have both come to is YES WE CAN! We want the help. We want to shed some light on the issue in an effort to perhaps reach out to other couples who may be experiencing the same struggles in their marriage. And it truly is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

The topic is very sensitive for many people and we are not taking it lightly in any way. I have spoken with my mother to make sure I am not disgracing her or embarrassing my family in any way. I have talked to my oldest child who is 13 and may be affected by the attention to assure her that this is an adult topic and needs to remain as such. Her obvious concern was the embarrassment factor because sex is still a dirty word for her (as it should be at her age). I have explained that her friends are not avid Oprah viewers so the odds of someone seeing the show and then being willing to approach her about it would be slim to none out of her circle of friends. Her next concern was that of a teacher seeing the show and approaching her about it. I also reassured her that even if a teacher does see it and says to her, “Hey Kylie, I saw your mom on Oprah”, I would hope that the teacher would have enough respect and class to not mention the subject matter to her, as it is an adult issue and should be respected as such.

So, after many discussions between Corey and I over the last few days, checking in with a few key people in our life, and much prayer devoted to the issue….we wait with baited breath to find out if we will get to be the voice of potentially many other couples.  After all, if God can have a candid “talk” with us in the Bible about what a healthy sexual relationship between a married couple should look like, then I guess I should feel no shame in talking on Oprah about the same topic!

If it doesn’t work out and we are not selected, there will certainly be an element of disappointment, but even getting this far in the process has been a story in and of itself. And even if we cannot continue the dialog through Oprah’s venue, perhaps just going through these steps to get us to this point will open up the doors for other couples to start sharing their stories with each other and with others. Corey and I have always been of the mindset that if it is meant to be…it will be. God has a plan for our life and if Oprah is part of that plan, then great, but if not, we will move forward regardless.

Therefore, I will end this post with a To Be Continued…….