As I get older, I have come to appreciate so much more than I ever did before. I’m not sure if it’s my age or not, but something has woke me up to all the blessings I was missing for so many years. I believe, perhaps, it is a combination of both growing older, but growing wiser as well.

I have found that the one thing I do better as I get older is step back and look at my life. I now have the ability to see just how truly blessed I am. When I was younger, I struggled to see past the day-to-day madness to really appreciate all that God had given me. The financial, marital, and parenting struggles were all consuming for me. I was rarely able to step back and realize that even despite the negative, I was still a very blessed woman.

Please don’t mistake what I’m saying. Not a day has gone by since my first child was conceived that I haven’t thanked God for my children and realized what a blessing and joy they are to me. I just had a hard time seeing past the bills I couldn’t pay, the tension with my spouse, and the constant state of chaos that comes with having 4 children within 6 years to be able to rest assured that tomorrow would bring much of the same madness….and yet was still such a gift from God!

I look at my life now and it’s still just as crazy as it was back then. There are many differences of course….new husband….more children. But there are also many similarities. We still have bills that cannot be paid on time. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship, but it certainly does not come without effort. And my life with my children is crazier than ever.

The biggest difference now is that I am able to push away all the worries, fear, and anxiety over tomorrow….and just take in the blessings of today.

This weekend was like so many weekends have been for us over the past several months…. Work…work…and more work to be done on our house. We are in full swing of remodeling the entire upstairs while adding a bedroom, bathroom, and laundry room downstairs….all the while racing the clock trying to get everything finished before the baby arrives.

The older kids were with their dad this weekend, which is always a difficult time for me. After this many years, you would think I would be used to it by now. But just because there is familiarity in the routine, doesn’t mean it will ever “sit well” in the pit of my stomach.

But even with the constant work…..

Even with the absence of my older children….

Even with the checkbook I struggle to balance each month….

Even with some of the pettiness that eats up time and energy in my marriage….

I realize that I have so much to be grateful for….that God’s blessings have always been right under my nose!

So whether or not being older has made the shift in my perspective, I guess it doesn’t really matter what caused it. What I do know is that I feel much wiser to the gifts in my life today. I am seeing clearer today, than I ever did in the past.

And aside from thanking God for the obvious….I want to thank Him for the wisdom to finally see it….to finally see that I am blessed beyond measure in the form of the craziness I call “my life”.