What a productive day!  I had a Home and School meeting bright and early this morning.  By “bright and early” I mean, 8am!  Now 8am during the school year is nothing, but 8am during the summer months is a different story.  When all 5 children were still fast asleep in their cozy beds this morning, it was a tall order for me to get my butt out of bed.  We are in for a really difficult adjustment in a couple of weeks! Anyway, Home and School is our private school’s version of the public school’s Parent/Teacher Association.  I had stepped back in my volunteering last year due to Natalie’s arrival and really felt it was time to get back into the swing of things for this year.  I really missed being actively involved in the school so I signed up to be the secretary for this year’s Home and School board.  We have an amazing team of young women running the show this year, and I just know it’s going to be a banner year for our association.  It’s amazing what surrounding yourself with talented, energetic, intelligent, and motivated individuals can do for your psyche!  I left the meeting with a list of items to tend to and ready to tackle the world!

I also had Avery’s meeting with his principal, his tutor, and his teacher regarding the plan of action for the upcoming school year.  I was incredibly impressed with everyone’s willingness to be Avery’s advocate.  There were a few sticking points throughout the meeting, which is to be expected with something of this magnitude, but nothing kept us from realizing that the true focus here is my son and his academic needs.  It was a comforting feeling to walk away from the meeting knowing that no matter what happens from this point forward; I know we have a solid team of compassionate and competent individuals with a willingness like nothing I have ever seen before, ready to tackle any road blocks that may arise in Avery’s success in school.

The meeting reaffirmed my commitment to becoming a certified Dyslexia tutor so I can reinforce Avery’s needs at home and even more so, help other children in their struggle to learn how to read and write.  I may not be able to tutor Avery, as I believe he will take instruction much better from a third party, but I will be able to help others.  Moreover, I cannot imagine any parent after finding out their child has something of  this significance not wanting to dive in headfirst to gain as much knowledge as possible about the issue.  I cannot feel like a good mother without doing all I can to become an expert on Dyslexia.  So my goals are lofty, but with much hard work…they are very attainable.

After evaluating the day, I feel many emotions surrounding the outlook for our upcoming school year….relief, excitement, and perhaps a touch of stress (me, stressed??  I know…I’m sure you’re shocked by that). Regardless, I am confident that I will accomplish much this year….

Avery will achieve even more…..

And together, we will all move mountains!

Avery’s new school tour went great!  It looks like it’s a fabulous school…catering to those that may have some difficulties and even those students that fall under the “gifted and talented” title.  It seems to be a school for those that don’t fit within the cookie cutter, big-box school systems that many schools are accustomed to teaching to.  After the tour I walked away feeling hopeful.  I felt ok…I’m ok with this.  This is where he should go to school and we will just figure out a way to pay for it all, right?  I felt pretty settled on that choice.  I had the school calendar, the school supply list, and was going to turn in the application for admission by the end of this week…..

Then we have another curve ball thrown our way.  I get a phone call from the principal at his current school (We will refer to her as “Mrs. Z” to retain ambiguity).  She mentions that she had received several concerned phone calls over my last blog post because I was adorning the school “unfavorably”.  I scrambling in my mind to think of what I could have possibly said about his school that was “unfavorable”….I didn’t use the school name…I did not name his teachers….so what did I write that was so blastfimous to have people I know, who read my blog, turn around and tattle on me…..and then I realized what perhaps people were taking offence to….the truth!

I mean, I did not sugar coat things.  I was honest and to the point in my dealings with his school to date, and if the truth is unsettling to those that read about it…I guess that’s ok with me.  It was unsettling to me as well, but it doesn’t change it.   Avery’s dyslexia did go undetected by his teachers…FACT.   The school does not have a special needs program….FACT.  The school does not have a stellar reputation for working with families that have children with special needs…..FACT.  In addition, I never said they wouldn’t work with us…I said they didn’t have the resources or the expertise to work with us…..all FACTS.  But now before you go running to grab your phones again to call Mrs. Z and tell her I’m “bashing” the school again…please read on…….

Everything I stated was true….HOWEVER, and this is a big however, I most definitely jumped to some conclusions about his school and made assumptions due to past experience without actually making the phone calls to back up those claims.  So here is where I admit to my hasty decision that his current school is in no way able to work with us.  I should have called instead of relying on hearsay and reputations. For that, I am regretful! Which brings me back to that phone call from Mrs. Z…..

After telling me that she read the post herself and was disappointed to see that I felt his school couldn’t help us, we talked in length about Avery’s situation.  I expressed my concerns about the classroom adaptations he would need, and she expressed an unparalleled willingness to listen and learn.  She wants to know what they can do to help Avery…and what she can learn about Dyslexia and take back to the teachers in an effort to help other children.  She gave me a resounding, “absolutely” when I asked if they were truly willing to meet those classroom accommodations he would need.   She said they want to work with us as a team to make sure he gets the education he deserves and the help he needs.

I was speechless for a moment….feeling sheepish for having made assumptions….you know the old adage….”assuming makes an ass out of u and me”….well, I was feeling like the ass at that point.  She acknowledged that she could not speak to whatever happened in the school before she took over as principle, but now that she was in the hot seat, she seemed steadfast in her desire to change the way things have always been done and to change the reputation that the school has gotten over the years.   All of which was music to my ears and an effort I would like to be a part of as well.

So, we have a meeting planned for next week involving the key players in Avery’s education…us, Mrs. Z, his teacher, and the director of the Dyslexia Reading Connection who will also be his tutor through the years.  I am excited and nervous at the same time.  I still feel overall, we have a huge decision to make regarding which school he attends, but what a blessing to actually have OPTIONS…yes, that is a plural word!!

I am eternally grateful that Mrs. Z  called because no matter what is decided, there are many people right now working together to make sure my son gets the education he so deserves….and he is truly the only thing that matters in this whole mess.

Life never ceases to challenge me.  Just when I get cocky, (ya know…because I have my toilets scrubbed and laundry caught up for 5 minutes)….a curve ball is thrown my way.  I think God does this just to knock me down a peg or two and more importantly, to remind me that I’m really not in control of anything.

We found out this week that our youngest son, Avery, has Dyslexia.  We have been concerned since he entered school, but all of our inquiries have been met by teachers with dismissal.  ”Oh he is fine.  He’s just young for his class and needs time to mature.”  I didn’t buy it!  I think there is much to be said about a mother’s intuition and having 3 other children before Avery who have navigated their way through Kindergarten and First grade, I had a pretty good sense of what his skill set should be at each level.  While I understood that Avery was indeed young for his class (he has a May birthday), I still had a nagging feeling that more was wrong than just a little immaturity.

After all, he wasn’t misbehaving in class or struggling with his social skills.  His math skills were right on point.  But he wasn’t learning how to read no matter how much we worked with him.  And his spelling was even worse than the reading.  It was awful!  I’m not being mean here, I’m just trying to point out  a couple of the umpteen warning signs that were present, but never noticed by a single one of the many teachers that have been in his life over the years.

The only clue we got was when I was talking to a friend of mine, who happens to be a teacher and has a son who is also Dyslexic, about my concerns with Avery.  It wasn’t until her son was in 6th grade and still couldn’t read that he was finally diagnosed properly.  Because of the struggles that this poor woman and her son went through, she recognized many of the “symptoms” I was mentioning to her regarding Avery’s academic struggles.  She gave me a name, phone number, and website to find out more information.  I stumbled away from our conversation feeling dazed, confused, and perhaps a bit hopeful…hopeful that I’m not crazy and hopeful that if we can figure out what’s really going on with my son, then we can deal with it appropriately.  I am a firm believer that nothing is left to chance.  That casual conversation was not merely “luck of the draw”. God speaks to us through many mediums…quite often through other people.  That day…that conversation….God spoke to me loud and clear through the words of a dear friend.

Moving forward, I did my research and set up an appointment to meet with the director of the local Dyslexia Reading Connection.  It was clear from the first 30 minutes on the internet that Dyslexia was indeed what we were dealing with….the meeting was just a formality at this point.  So, we met with the woman this week and found out after going through a lengthy assessment, that Dyslexia is pretty much all it could be.  There is a $700 test we can do to have an “official” piece of paper proclaiming its Dyslexia for sure, but she said with the high cost and ruling out all other options, there is really no point to it.  She mentioned that if the official documentation from the formal test would get us anywhere with his current school system, then it would be worth it.  Unfortunately though, his school is in no way equip to accommodate his needs.  The teachers are not trained properly on how to teach to a Dyslexic child.  After all, they were not even equipped to notice the warning signs, so needless to say, my faith is rattled considerably in their ability!

Which brings us to the next hurdle….where do we go from here?

Our options:

We can keep him in the school he currently attends.  I can then run him to tutoring 3 days a week, year round, for a minimum of 3 years after school where he would then have to come home and try to get homework done on top of the 9-hour day he has already put in.  And the cost for the tutoring is astronomical!  Insurance won’t cover it because they claim it’s a learning disability and the responsibility falls on the school system.  The public school system claims it’s a medical condition so they disown any responsibility to help either.  It’s madness, and the only ones suffering are the kids falling through the cracks and the parents struggling to pay for the help their children so desperately need.

Our other option is to pull him from his current school and enroll him in a local non-denominational Christian school that caters to working with Dyslexic children.  Its a “normal” school, meaning that many children without any learning disabilities attend, but all of their teachers are trained in Dyslexia and are prepared and willing to meet the proper classroom accommodations Avery will need as he goes through elementary school and even into Middle school.  It is only 15 minutes from our home and they even offer the tutoring he needs built right into his daily schedule.  This means that my little 7-year-old will only need to put in a normal day’s worth of schoolwork without the extra time after school for additional tutoring.  This option seems like a no-brainer; however, the cost for tuition alone at this new school is double what we are paying where he currently attends.  And on top of the tuition, we still need to pay the tutoring cost, but they do offer that at a substantial discount from the normal fees, if he attends their school.

Either option lands our world in a tailspin. I will most definitely need to get a part time job on top of the full time, stay-at-home job I already manage. We have many decisions to make regarding his care and very little time to pull the trigger on either option.

So, overall…I feel lost!  I feel scared and sad for my son because all parents want the very best life for their children with the least amount of struggles.  While I realize fully that this is not a death sentence for Avery…it is a life sentence.

He will deal with this issue forever and that breaks my heart.  School will never come easy for him.  He will always need to work twice as hard as the kid sitting next to him in class does.  It pains me to know how hard he will need to work at such a tender, young age when all he should be worrying about is playing with his race cars and running around with the neighborhood kids.

And I will do my best to see to it that his world remains as it should…full of carefree wonderment.  But deep down I know that there is only so much my love can do for him…there is only so much I can protect him from.  This is apparently his cross to bear….as it is now mine too, and I will be by his side to help ease his load whenever possible.  And when I cannot, I will fall to my knees and pray that God will step in where I must let go.

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PS  I will be posting links to as much reputable Dyslexia information I come across so if you have concerns or want to educate yourself with the warning signs, the resources will be available to you.