As I get older, I have come to appreciate so much more than I ever did before. I’m not sure if it’s my age or not, but something has woke me up to all the blessings I was missing for so many years. I believe, perhaps, it is a combination of both growing older, but growing wiser as well.

I have found that the one thing I do better as I get older is step back and look at my life. I now have the ability to see just how truly blessed I am. When I was younger, I struggled to see past the day-to-day madness to really appreciate all that God had given me. The financial, marital, and parenting struggles were all consuming for me. I was rarely able to step back and realize that even despite the negative, I was still a very blessed woman.

Please don’t mistake what I’m saying. Not a day has gone by since my first child was conceived that I haven’t thanked God for my children and realized what a blessing and joy they are to me. I just had a hard time seeing past the bills I couldn’t pay, the tension with my spouse, and the constant state of chaos that comes with having 4 children within 6 years to be able to rest assured that tomorrow would bring much of the same madness….and yet was still such a gift from God!

I look at my life now and it’s still just as crazy as it was back then. There are many differences of course….new husband….more children. But there are also many similarities. We still have bills that cannot be paid on time. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship, but it certainly does not come without effort. And my life with my children is crazier than ever.

The biggest difference now is that I am able to push away all the worries, fear, and anxiety over tomorrow….and just take in the blessings of today.

This weekend was like so many weekends have been for us over the past several months…. Work…work…and more work to be done on our house. We are in full swing of remodeling the entire upstairs while adding a bedroom, bathroom, and laundry room downstairs….all the while racing the clock trying to get everything finished before the baby arrives.

The older kids were with their dad this weekend, which is always a difficult time for me. After this many years, you would think I would be used to it by now. But just because there is familiarity in the routine, doesn’t mean it will ever “sit well” in the pit of my stomach.

But even with the constant work…..

Even with the absence of my older children….

Even with the checkbook I struggle to balance each month….

Even with some of the pettiness that eats up time and energy in my marriage….

I realize that I have so much to be grateful for….that God’s blessings have always been right under my nose!

So whether or not being older has made the shift in my perspective, I guess it doesn’t really matter what caused it. What I do know is that I feel much wiser to the gifts in my life today. I am seeing clearer today, than I ever did in the past.

And aside from thanking God for the obvious….I want to thank Him for the wisdom to finally see it….to finally see that I am blessed beyond measure in the form of the craziness I call “my life”.

I know I’ve been rather lax in my blogging the last few months and I have made a renewed commitment to start posting more regularly. You may wonder what’s been going on in my life lately and I’m not quite sure where to begin. Other than moving, the holidays, remodeling our home, being due with child #6 in less than 2 months, I guess things have been pretty tame here other than the normal level of chaos we have come to expect.

Oh yes, I guess there is one other thing……THE OPRAH SHOW CALLED AND WE ARE POTENTIAL CANDIDATES TO BE ON THE SHOW!!!!! The crew may be stopping by my house this weekend or sometime next week to start taping a segment with Dr. Laura Berman.

Let me preface this entire story by stating that it is not a for sure thing as we will not know if we have been selected until the end of the week. They have talked to hundreds of couples about the issue and are still in the process of interviewing people for this particular episode. What I can say is that for right now, we are one of the “front runners” in being selected for the show and that is truly all we know at this time.

So with that disclaimer in place….allow me to share how we got to this point.

It was last April (2009), when I was perusing the Oprah.com website. I DVR Oprah each day and watch her religiously in the evenings. I get the kids tucked in at night and then curl up for some good old-fashioned talk show action. My husband, Corey, has even come to join me on most evenings to watch and see what the diva of talk shows is dishing about.

I have grown to love the episodes with Dr. Laura Berman, the sex, marriage, relationship therapist that Oprah regularly features on the show. She is so blatant, open, and honest about sex, and especially women’s sexual health, that I find her unrestrained attitude refreshing in a world where women talking openly about sex is usually considered taboo. I have always been one of those women that are not afraid to say the word “sex” or to talk about my revved up sex drive.

It wasn’t until I came across the “Ask Dr. Laura a Question” link on Oprah’s website, that I even realized I had a question. But I saw the button, clicked on it, and just started writing. By the time I was done, I had gone WAY over the 2000 character limit and had to cut down my submission considerably. But after my tweaking and editing, I realized that in my story, I really did have a question for the world famous Doctor.

What is wrong with me? Is something wrong with me? I have the libido typically described by men. I too, as the stereotype goes for men, think about and want sex all the time. But any time I ever discuss this issue with girlfriends, I get one of two reactions: either they look at me blankly like I’m speaking a foreign language or they literally laugh out loud at me (lovingly laugh at me, of course). Not a single friend of mine could ever relate to wanting sex more than their husbands did, just as I could never relate to needing to beat my husband off me with a stick.

So as I was writing my submission to Oprah, I realized that I often feel like a freak of nature. I avoid the topic now because I feel that no other women can relate. I don’t blog about it like I want to because I have come to feel that I am the only woman on earth struggling with this type of role reversal in her marriage. And that was the bottom line for me….am I really the only woman out there that feels this way or are there others like me, but it’s just not talked about?

I hit the “submit” button and didn’t give it a second thought. I also sent my submission to Corey just so I wasn’t doing anything behind his back that might end up coming back to bite me in the butt. He knows how I feel and he also knows that this has been an issue in our marriage for quite some time, especially since the birth of our daughter, so I don’t think he was overly surprised by my candidness nor did he seem to mind. Like me, I think he read it and thought nothing more would come of it.

Well, just a couple months after I sent in my submission, I received an email from an Oprah staff member asking me for more details about who I am and my story. So, I wrote back. I was open and honest about the strain that the reversed libidos in my home has created between Corey and I, and I was candid about how I feel. I again hit “send”….sent a copy to Corey so he was still on board with what I was doing, and that was the end of it…..UNTIL last week!

An unknown area code and phone number popped up on my caller ID last week Friday so I didn’t answer the call. I was busy and figured if it wasn’t a wrong number, they would leave me a message and I would get back to them. Much to my surprise, a voicemail was left so I retrieved the message with little anticipation of who it could be. I assumed it was some random telemarketer trying to sell me new windows or some politician pleading for my support on some referendum he’s trying to pass on Capitol Hill. You can imagine my shock and dismay when the voice on the other line stated, “Hello Sara, this is Chelsey from the Oprah show…”!! WHAT? Could you repeat that? I actually had to listen to the message 3 times before it sank in that the Oprah show was actually calling me about some email I sent in over 10 months ago!

I called Corey immediately to tell him that a screener from the show had called me and wanted me to call her back to talk further about possibly doing a show regarding my submission. I asked him if he was ok with me calling her back….of course I was dying to call her back, but I was not willing to do so unless I had his full support. After all, talking about our sex life on national television is a pretty intimate and personal issue. Even though this was just going to be a screening to see if we were likely candidates for the show…the potential was there that it would go as far as an actual episode, so I needed his complete support and permission to take this any further. He laughed aloud as he always does when he gets nervous…sat there for just a moment giving it some thought…and then said, “Sure, go for it! It’s Oprah for God’s sake!” And thank God for his reaction because that is exactly what I was thinking. I mean, when the Oprah show calls….you answer! (or in this case, you call back)!!

So, I dialed up Chelsey and we spoke for over 30 minutes. She asked me very frank questions about our sex life, and I answered her with complete honesty…holding back nothing. I figured, either she’s going to like what I have to say or not, but candy coating our situation or lying about the issue isn’t going to do anyone any favors. If they really want to do a show about this topic, I might as well be as sincere as I can be and if it’s what they are looking for…great…and if not, at least I was true to myself, my husband, and our marriage.

After our conversation wrapped up, she asked if she could speak to Corey about the subject. I told her that he may not be quite as frank with her as I was, but I’m sure he would be open to answering some streamlined questions about the topic. He called her and left a message and she returned his call on Saturday. He went into the bedroom to take the phone call as I paced outside the bedroom door eve’s dropping on what he had to say. Much to my surprise, he was as candid with her as I had been.

So after both phone conversations and a string of emails, we will find out sometime by the end of this week if we will be selected to be on the show. If we are, there will most likely be a segment taped at our home with Dr. Berman (yes, that’s correct…this world-renowned author and therapist will be sitting in my home) and then a final segment taped in Chicago with Miss Oprah herself!

I have talked in length with Corey about whether or not we can really do this. Can we really sit on national television openly and honestly discussing our sex life? The conclusion we have both come to is YES WE CAN! We want the help. We want to shed some light on the issue in an effort to perhaps reach out to other couples who may be experiencing the same struggles in their marriage. And it truly is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

The topic is very sensitive for many people and we are not taking it lightly in any way. I have spoken with my mother to make sure I am not disgracing her or embarrassing my family in any way. I have talked to my oldest child who is 13 and may be affected by the attention to assure her that this is an adult topic and needs to remain as such. Her obvious concern was the embarrassment factor because sex is still a dirty word for her (as it should be at her age). I have explained that her friends are not avid Oprah viewers so the odds of someone seeing the show and then being willing to approach her about it would be slim to none out of her circle of friends. Her next concern was that of a teacher seeing the show and approaching her about it. I also reassured her that even if a teacher does see it and says to her, “Hey Kylie, I saw your mom on Oprah”, I would hope that the teacher would have enough respect and class to not mention the subject matter to her, as it is an adult issue and should be respected as such.

So, after many discussions between Corey and I over the last few days, checking in with a few key people in our life, and much prayer devoted to the issue….we wait with baited breath to find out if we will get to be the voice of potentially many other couples.  After all, if God can have a candid “talk” with us in the Bible about what a healthy sexual relationship between a married couple should look like, then I guess I should feel no shame in talking on Oprah about the same topic!

If it doesn’t work out and we are not selected, there will certainly be an element of disappointment, but even getting this far in the process has been a story in and of itself. And even if we cannot continue the dialog through Oprah’s venue, perhaps just going through these steps to get us to this point will open up the doors for other couples to start sharing their stories with each other and with others. Corey and I have always been of the mindset that if it is meant to be…it will be. God has a plan for our life and if Oprah is part of that plan, then great, but if not, we will move forward regardless.

Therefore, I will end this post with a To Be Continued…….

I enjoyed such a laugh the other day with another mom whom I pass each morning bringing our kids to school.   We are both running just a few minutes late, on most mornings, so we always drop our children off at the front doors instead of the back doors.

The back doors are reserved for those children who get to school BEFORE the first bell rings….clearly not a door we see very often.  My kids are rarely tardy, as we seem to make it to school sometime between that first and second bell, but we struggle to beat that first bell.  I always wonder why they even have the first bell if the kids are not really late until after the second bell. I can only assume it’s for mothers like me! I also wonder why it is that we can never seem to leave the house just 5 minutes earlier each day to make it to those back doors. I guess just another mystery that will need to go unsolved for today.

Anyway, I often feel an unspoken comradery with this other mom whom I see running in the same “just 5 minutes late” circle as I travel in.  It almost makes me feel better to know that I’m not the only mother on the planet who just can’t get out the door in time each day.

So the other day when I saw her (at the school’s front doors) helping her son out of the car with a rather large box….she was wearing cropped pants, hunting socks, and clogs….I just smiled to myself and realized that the morning “outfit” is just another thing we seem to have in common. As I have mentioned before, I adore my sleep and I’m also a night owl….so early mornings and I do not see eye to eye. I wake up just in time to get my children up, ready, fed, and out the door leaving no time for me to primp and prime myself for the day. I usually drive them to school in my PJ’s (sweat pants and a t-shirt); my hair pulled back in a ponytail or a baseball hat, and some sort of footwear….typically whatever slippers are sitting by the back door. I take care of getting ready for the day once I arrive back home and they are dropped off at school. So, seeing my friend out of her car….dressed as I do each morning….I couldn’t help but laugh and empathize with her situation.

You see, when you drive your children to school in such disarray each morning, the most dreaded thing you can hear out of your child’s mouth in that moment when you pull up to the school doors is, “Mom, aren’t you going to help me carry in my Science project?”..….or book project….or any kind of project that requires you to exit the car and expose your attire to the rest of the world. In those moments, you want to shoot yourself for not getting up early enough to at least throw on a bra or put on a pair of real pants. You want to lovingly strangle your child for not mentioning to you before you left the house that he or she would need help into the school with the project. And you also vow to never leave the house again without being completely ready for the day…which lasts for about a week.

You basically just want to sink deeper into your seat and pretend as though you did not hear the pleas from the back of the car. But thanks to the persistence of your child:

you make your way out of the car

fly around to the other side of the vehicle

grab the damn poster

start praying out loud to God that nobody pulls up while you dash the 15 feet into the school

you drop the poster inside the front doors

and then make a mad dash back to your car.

And I believe it was at some point during the audible prayer to God that I wheeled up and caught my dear friend standing by her vehicle, holding the box for her son, and eagerly encouraging him to hustle up out of the back seat so they could run for cover.

I just smiled and waved at her….fully knowing how she was feeling at that moment, and then didn’t think twice about it until I received a message from her later that day via FaceBook. She mentioned to me that she wasn’t trying to start a new trend in the fashion industry with her cropped pants and husband’s hunting socks….that she was just taken by surprise when her son asked for her help in carrying in his project. I laughed so hard when I read that message because so many of us moms…especially stay-at-home moms…have been where she stood that morning!

I tried to negate her worries by sharing a similar story of my own because just the day prior to that event, I had lost track of time and realized I was going to be late picking the kids up from school. In my haste, I threw on my husband’s pair of size ELEVEN slippers and darted out the door. Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the several errands that I had to run immediately after picking the kids up that day. So there I was…darting in and out of 2 grocery stores, 1 gas station, and the local Chamber of Commerce office in my husband’s SLIPPERS! And the worse part for me was that it was 3:30pm in the afternoon….I had all day to get myself ready and still managed to run out the door only prepared to be seen from the waist up!

So, to my favorite “front door” mom….I thank you sincerely for brightening my day with such a blog worthy story.

And rest assured that many of us are right there with you each morning…..presentable from the waist up and running just 5 minutes late!

Today I would like to write about my oldest son, Bailey.  We celebrated his 12th birthday just a couple of weeks ago and I have yet to take the time to pay homage to his birth.  Therefore, without further ado…I want to take a moment to reminisce about his birthday and the young man he is becoming.

My first child, Kylie, came into this world kicking and screaming after TWENTY hours of labor and an hour and half of pushing. So when the doctor told me that she was going to induce me with Bailey, I went into sheer panic mode.

I will never forget the night before his birth. I was sitting in the glider rocker placed in a corner of our small apartment living room, and I was sobbing. I don’t think up to that point, I had ever felt more scared of anything in my life. For me, the transition from having no children to one child was not nearly as difficult as the transition from one child to two. I was about to be outnumbered and I was terrified that I would not be able to handle it. There is only 17 months between my oldest two children so I really couldn’t wrap my brain around how I was going to manage a toddler and a newborn at the same time. I mean, what was going to happen when I need to go to the bathroom and they were both in need of my care????!!!! Seriously, these were the kinds of things I was fretting about while I rocked and cried hysterically all night in that chair. Looking back, I can laugh at my silly fears, but at the time…they were very real…and truly terrifying.

There was also the fear of labor and delivery that loomed in my heart that night. Being induced comes with the convenience of being completely “prepared” for the arrival of your new baby, but it also comes with the pesky knowledge that you are indeed going to push a child the size of a large watermelon out of a very small part of your body….and that moment will begin precisely at 6am tomorrow morning!

For me, ignorance is bliss! With my first pregnancy, I was induced as well, but I had no idea what I was in for. But this time around….no….this time I knew just how ugly labor and delivery could be, and I was paralyzed with fear over knowing how intense and painful the next day was going to be for me! So I sat rocking and crying and praying that God would just find a way to keep this child inside me indefinitely…or at least until Kylie was 10 years old when I wasn’t going to feel so outnumbered ( or so I thought).

But fortunately, God knew better than I did, and I was induced the next day. And I cannot even put into words what a different experience his birth was compared to my first go ‘round with labor and delivery. My labor went from 20 hours to 11 hours. My pushing went from an hour and a half to 15 minutes! My epidural was administered after 8 hours of labor with Bailey instead of 12 hours with Kylie. I specifically remember hearing the nurse say, “Look at you…you are so happy and smiling like you are not even in labor.”

She was right. I was smiling because what I did not know going into my son’s birth was that each labor and delivery is very unique even if that child is coming out of the same body. So just because my daughter needed to make her entrance into the world kicking and screaming….my son didn’t feel any need to put up a fight. He joined us at 7:54pm weighing in at 7lbs 13 oz and 21 inches long (my largest baby to date)!

So as I reflect on his birth, I see clearly that my baby boy is no longer such a baby. He is nearly a teenager and adds so much joy to our lives. It’s amazing to watch him slowly developing into a man, but what really moves me is how many personality traits he has possessed since day one showing me that in Bailey’s case…nature vs. nurture has done a fine job all on its own.

He always had a love for sports. From the moment he could grasp something in his tiny little hands, he wanted to hold onto a ball. From the moment he was steady enough to stand on his own two feet, he was dunking his basketball into a Little Tykes hoop. From the moment he could run, he was racing everyone and anyone down the street and back.

He has always had a love for all things sports related; he has always been as quick as lighting; he has always been the epitome of perpetual motion. Bailey has always been the child that after an entire weekend in a gym, playing several games of basketball asks, “What’s next, mom?” Just one more thing I have come to know, expect, and love about my son. Because as exhausting as his constant energy can be, it also comes with a zest for life that can only be seen through Bailey’s eyes.

Without exaggeration, he always has a smile on his face, a song in his heart, and a compassion for others that is to be admired and mimicked. I remember several times when he was young seeing other children using Bailey or treating him like a doormat. He would never understand my concern over these types of so-called “friends”. I would try and explain to him how he shouldn’t let people treat him poorly or let other kids walk all over him, and he would just look at me and say, “But he’s my friend”. My fear was that his tender heart and innocent way of looking at the world would hurt him in so many ways. And while I’m sure Bailey will have his share of heartbreak due to his trusting and loving nature, he has taught me that going through life on the defense is no way to live either.

So I have let go. I have let Bailey love the world and all that it has to offer him with reckless abandon. I have stepped back and stopped trying to change his outlook. I no longer want him to look at life through suspicious eyes, but rather love unconditionally as he does. Watching him love so willingly has taught me more about the way God wants us to live than I could ever teach him about life.

So with tears in my eyes and a love I have no words for…I would like to wish my son a very Happy Birthday! Bailey, you will forever make me proud to your mama!

Do you know that sinking feeling you get in the pit of your stomach sometimes or that lump in your throat when you need to cry but you are fighting back the tears??? That’s how I felt after reading a dear friend’s blog earlier this evening.

I call Ethel Mae Potter a dear friend and yet I’ve never even met her.  I know her purely by sharing a love of her writing with many, many other fans of hers.  Her writing style has such finesse and when she tells a story, it’s as vivid with details as a Thomas Kinkade portrait. I stumbled upon her blog after she posted a comment to one of my first posts, and we have been blogging “buddies” ever since.

Anyway, I read her most recent post and she is truly going through some rough times right now.  Financial worries for her aging parents, family members with addiction issues, and her own health is in question now over some seizures she has been experiencing for no apparent reason.  I sat for quite a while after reading her description of life as she knows it these days, and I wanted to weep for all that she is going through.  I can’t pretend to know what she’s feeling, as I have never battled cancer or had sudden seizures creep up on me.   I think all of us on some level can relate to worrying over our parents or financial struggles….and I definitely know what’s it’s like to live with a family member’s addiction, but to even try to claim I know how she feels would be a blatant lie.

So….for the first time in quite a while…..words failed me.  I wanted to post a comment on her site.  I wanted to offer her words of encouragement or say something that might lift her spirits.  But instead, I just sat there staring at my computer screen with tears welling up in my eyes.  I  just sat there praying to God that she is going to be ok because when I count my blessings each night, I thank God for this woman and the inspiration she has brought to my life with her words…with her honesty….with her beautiful, colorful,  rich stories.

In just the short time I have gotten to know her….as much as you can come to know a complete stranger who bares her soul for all the world to read….I pray that she will be well again soon.

I am firm believer in the old adage that all people come to us for a reason, a season, or for a lifetime.  And with Ethel Mae Potter….this world needs her for a lifetime!

It’s nearly Christmas and I always appreciate how this time of year seems to make all of us just a bit more cognizant of our blessings.  I love to look back over the year and reflect on all we have achieved and experienced over the past 365 days.  I relish the rewards of our hard work, thank God for the struggles that only brought our family closer together and made us stronger than before, and I always pause in awe of all the blessings I have to be grateful for.

I’ve always been the type who never feels worthy enough of such gifts from God.  Every year my life seems to get better and better….and I have to ask God, “Why me?”  I just don’t understand what I have ever done to deserve such immeasurable good fortune.

Anytime something goes wrong in my life…anytime we hit a rough patch in the road or things feel like they are falling apart….those are the times I seem to understand the most.  I never question “why me” during the difficult times.  It always seems crystal clear as to why I need to struggle….what I’ve done wrong to deserve such strife.

But the good times….the gifts like my amazing husband, wonderful children, loving parents, and true friends….those are the blessings that I just can’t wrap my brain around. Why do I get to experience such overwhelming joy?

Why am I so blessed to have found my soul mate when there are so many other lonely people in this world?

Why do I get to watch my children grow into amazing young men and women when there are parents every day that have to watch their children suffer and die from illness?

Why am I given the gift of good health when so many other much more deserving people out there do not have the same blessings?

So as I ponder the last year of my life….as I reflect upon my numerous blessings….I am brought to my knees in gracious thanksgiving for all that God has brought to my world….both the good and the bad!

I pray as well that this holiday season finds you all happy, healthy, and full of God’s grace.

Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to all!

So…..(and yes, this post needs to start with the word “So”)…..

So….I was getting the kids their breakfast the other morning before school…..I could barely peel my eyes open, and I’m certain I was still half-asleep. I was stumbling through our kitchen with a hope and a prayer that the boxes of cereal I had put on the table were indeed Cocoa Pebbles and not Minute Rice.

I have never been a morning person, but I really thought that would change as I got older and had children.  I mean, the days of staying up half the night and then getting to sleep in until noon have passed me by decades ago already, so I figured that eventually……eventually, I would have no problem hopping out of bed at the butt-crack of dawn each day.

I had an image of what mornings would feel like once I made the adjustment and joined the “early bird” club.  You know the image….birds chirping as they place my robe upon my shoulders and tiny little critters nudging my slippers towards my feet.  I would hop out of bed without so much as a hint of longing for my nice, warm bed….stretch my arms into the air and breathe in deeply with a smile on my face…..excited and eager to welcome the day before me.

Well, it’s been 13 years since I had my first child….since sleeping in was exchanged for children lobbing empty Sippy cups at my head yelling, “Mommy, Mommy, wake up…I want some milky” …..and I am STILL NOT A MORNING PERSON!  I am night owl through and through.  And no matter how exhausted I am in the morning when I drag my sorry butt out of bed….or how tired I get right around 2pm every day….I always seem to hit my stride right around 8pm and I’m raren’ to go until at least midnight each night.  My body screams at me to go to bed….especially when I’m this pregnant, but my mind is never on the same page at night.  I get my best ideas, my biggest inspirations, and my largest burst of energy right about the time everyone else is turning in for the night.

SO….when the alarm clock is SCREAMING at me to wake up when I’ve merely just fallen into a deep sleep, I struggle to keep a level head in the mornings.

Anyway, as I was saying….I was gathering the numerous boxes of cereal for the kid’s breakfast, and much to my chagrin, there were no clean bowls in the cupboard.  I glanced down at the dishwasher just praying to God that the “clean” light was on so I wasn’t going to have to try and wash dishes by hand with only one eye open as my other eye refused to cooperate quite yet.  You can picture my joy….sheer joy…..when I saw that bright, red “clean” light lit up like a Christmas tree.  I grabbed the kids their bowls and spoons, everyone scarfed down their breakfast, and we were out of the door on time for a change.

SO….you can imagine my surprise when my husband, Corey, came home that afternoon for a rare lunchtime visit…..opened up the dishwasher and said, “Wow, I guess using soap really does make a difference!”

Me:  ”What?”  ”Could you please repeat that?”

Corey:  ”Well, we were out of soap last night when I was doing the dishes so I just loaded the dishwasher and ran it without soap anyway.”

Me:  silent….mouth hanging open…..

Corey: “I guess I didn’t think the soap really did that much.  I figured it was more the hot water that cleaned the food off, but looking at these dishes, I can see that the soap really makes a difference because these are all still really dirty!”

Me:  still silent….jaw still dropped open…..and utterly speechless that the dishes I served my children’s breakfast with were dirty….speechless that I was so out of it that morning that I didn’t even notice that they didn’t look clean….and utterly dumbfounded that my husband was so unsure of the necessity of soap that he rolled the dice and decided to run his own little experiment with our dishes without notifying his sleep deprived wife of his latest science experiment!

What else could I do but LOL…..

I know we all struggle to keep up during the holidays. It seems that the more I accomplish….shopping, decorating, baking, Christmas concerts, and Thanksgiving hosting, the longer my list gets. That’s right, as I cross off one item, I add two or three more things I need to get done. It’s crazy; it’s overwhelming; but it’s the holiday season in a big family….with lots of children…..and I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’d love to share with you the in’s and out’s of last week for our family…..just a snip-it of all the immeasurable blessings in my life, and the moments I am so grateful for this Thanksgiving.

What a busy week we had!  I had my 20 week ultrasound, 6 conferences, a tutoring session, a dentist appointment, 2 basketball practices, 2 volleyball games, Avery’s First Reconciliation, the New Moon midnight premier, a birthday party…..and a partridge in a pear tree!

The best part of reflecting on this week is that it really wasn’t that much busier than most weeks in our home.  With a house full of seven (and a peanut on the way), the calendar is bound to be full of events and activities to keep us moving.   Most of the time, I just take it one day at a time. I look at the calendar and only stress over today’s events because when I try to process an entire week’s worth of activities….or God forbid I get brave enough to look at the entire month….my head starts spinning, I get a headache, and feel overwhelmed to the point of paralysis.  So, I have learned over the years to only look at today’s events. I do peek at tomorrow, just so I know what present needs to be picked up or what item I volunteered to make for the teacher’s luncheon, but I try not to allow myself to exert any energy into tomorrow because I know I need it all just to get through today!

I could write a new post about each of the events listed in the second paragraph. Take the ultrasound, for example. I want to tell you how amazing it was.  The baby is growing perfectly (even a week ahead of schedule) and all his or her parts are accounted for and working perfectly.  It’s impossible to look a images of this perfectly formed angel doing summer salts in my uterus….who is no larger than a can of soda……and not know that God exists.  Nothing this fine tuned and perfect could be created by chance.  And my will power was bar none this time around. Since it’s definitely our last baby, I really wanted the sex to be a surprise at birth. I have found out the sex of the other 5 children at the 20-week ultrasound so I wasn’t convinced I could hold out. I was so proud and excited when I walked out of the appointment and did NOT know the sex! So now, I have even more to look forward to when the baby arrives!

I could write several posts about how conferences went. Meeting with 6 teachers about 4 children’s progress in school thus far is an experience in and of itself. I am happy to say that all in all, the reports were great and the kids are right on track. The kids all have wonderful, dedicated teachers this year that truly care for the kid’s wellbeing. I guess as a mom, I could not ask for more than that.

I would love to take the time to update everyone on Avery’s progress with his tutoring. It’s going unbelievably well and the progress he’s made in such a short time has been nothing short of astounding! I am nearly moved to tears with each session I sit in on because I see him thriving, reading, and spelling with ease. I am so relieved that we found him the help he needs and the help he deserves at an early age.

Avery also got to make the sacrament of Reconciliation last week, which is another “rite of passage” in our Catholic faith. It was moving to see him sitting with the priest and the huge smile he had when he walked back to us beaming with pride. Just another moment that reminded me that my baby boy is growing up faster than I can emotionally handle!

And the highlight to close out our week was the New Moon premier that Kylie and I went to see. I made a promise to her months and months ago that I would take her to the midnight showing when it finally came out. Of course, at the time I didn’t put much thought into staying up until 3am, so when the time rolled around to buy the tickets for the 12:01am showing, I held my breath and purchased them anyway. I had many people last week telling me I was nuts for doing such a thing, but I made a promise to my baby girl, and no amount of sleep was worth breaking my word to her. I always preach to my children that they should never make a promise they don’t intend to keep because “promises are a big deal” so it was time to put my words into action. I cannot even express the joy it brings me to have a 13 year old who is even willing to be seen with her mother at the movies, much less the honor I felt by accompanying her to the premier of the most anticipated movie of the year. I want to express the importance of finding common ground at this stage in our children’s lives, even if it’s just sharing a love for a series of vampire books. The movie was awesome, but the memories we created sitting in the theater for SIX hours will be with me forever. That time alone with her will be time I will cherish in my heart forever!

So while I would LOVE to write a new post for all the events we enjoyed last week, I am just too exhausted to write anything articulate or worthy of your time to read. I guess this post summarizing a week in the life of our family will have to do as my Thanksgiving tribute.

I cannot express how grateful I am for sharing such a crazy, hectic life with my amazing family. God is so good to me, and I am so unworthy of such blessings. So while He continues to grant me such grace and abundant blessings, I will continue to be grateful for every moment…. no matter how hectic life gets.

Happy Thanksgiving to each and all of you, and I will continue to pray for plentiful blessings for you and your beautiful families.

I was speaking to a close friend of mine the other day who is also a stay-at-home mom.  She was talking about how bad she felt that she hadn’t played with her daughter in weeks…..you know…..that sitting down, no distractions, kind of playing.  We were discussing how busy life is, if it’s even possible to slow it down, and that there is just too much to do in one day.  She was determined to stay home for the day and get her house cleaned, but then felt bad because she felt like she was neglecting her daughter.

If on this one day they weren’t going to be running ragged then should she not be playing with her daughter all day instead of worrying about cleaning the house?

I could relate to what she was saying so vividly because I too have struggled with that over the years.  The guilt, albeit unnecessary guilt, that we put on ourselves as mothers seems to be never-ending.  We always feel like we are coming up short and we are because unfortunately, we are striving for perfection and it does not exist in human form.

If I’m running endless errands for days on end, I feel terrible that my child is rushed through eating a fast food lunch and taking her nap in the car as I drive to the next stop on my list.  If we are finally staying home for the day, I feel compelled to clean the house that has been neglected, catch up on laundry, and make a nice meal for the family to enjoy.

Entertaining the child or children at home seems to take a back burner to all the chores, but it’s a catch 22 because you’re either feeling guilty over not playing or feeling guilty about all the chores lining up.  There is no way to win and it’s a never-ending battle of balance.  How do we balance our time between the endless demands that life puts on us and the even larger set of demands we put on ourselves to be these perfect parents?

While I rarely have useful advice to dole out…mind you, the emphasis is on “useful“…I had a moment of clarity this morning that I offered my friend.  It is something I have had to remind myself of over the years, and it really is all about balance.  True, there are the days when everything needs to be set aside…..forget about the cooking, cleaning, and errands…..pull up a piece of carpet, sit down with your child, and just be in the moment with them.  Play with them, entertain them, teach them…truly give them your undivided attention.  Nothing else really matters in this life and everything else can wait.

However, there is also something to be said for just being home with them.  As stay-at-home moms, we put this unrealistic demand on ourselves that if we don’t work outside the home, then we should be there to be our child’s entertainment 100% of the time…. and as unpopular as my opinion may be with some of the “experts”, I don’t completely agree with that.

I mean, if they were in a childcare center, they would not have a one-on-one caregiver assigned to them to follow them around all day long and cater to their every whim and fancy.  If they are in school, they need to share their teacher’s attention with 20+ other children.  I feel it’s actually a disservice to our kids to make them feel like they are the only thing in the world that deserves attention because as they get older, they have to learn the hard way that this is not true at all.  They will need to share the attention of their caregivers for the rest of their lives.  And there is nothing more demanding than a toddler or pre-schooler who doesn’t know how to entertain themselves or use their imagination. I’m not suggesting that our children are not the most important people in the world; I’m saying that they are not the only thing that needs attention in this world.

I can say this because I made that mistake with my first two children.  I had my first two children within 17 months of each other and back then….I had the time to sit around with them all day and play with them.  We lived in a tiny little apartment that took less than 30 minutes to clean.  We had a fraction of the laundry we currently have so that only needed to be done a couple times a week. We only had one car so when their dad was at work, I was “grounded” in the apartment so running errands wasn’t even an option.  I felt like the best mom in the world because my children were never in front of the TV. We played all day long together, and by 17 months old, right before her brother was born, I had taught Kylie all her shapes, colors, and quite a bit of the alphabet.   By the time she was 2, she was “reading” entire books to us (she really just had them memorized, but regardless, she had entire books memorized).

As our family grew, so did the house and the responsibilities.  I no longer had the time to play all day long with children 3, 4, and 5 and there is a marked difference in their personalities because of it.  My first two children struggled considerably as they got older to entertain themselves.  They did not have the ability to sit down with a puzzle or a bag of blocks and use their imagination.  They constantly wanted me to do it for them, and I realized then that I had done a huge disservice for them by constantly being their playmate.

My younger children, even to this day, are much more content to just “be”.  They do not always need to be around friends.  They do not constantly need me to tell them what they could be doing for fun.  And they know how to be content with playing quietly next to me instead of always playing with me.  What I did with my first two children was create a measure of “high maintenance” personalities.  And today, I take comfort in knowing that while my 16 month old may not know her colors or shapes yet, she does know how to pick up her toys and care for her belongings….something she is learning from watching me pick up the house…..something my older two kids never saw me do.

So again, I think it is all about balance.  I will push aside the dirty dishes to put together a puzzle with my little one, but I will also teach her how to be content with coloring next to mommy as I fold laundry.  And I truly believe that none of my children will ever remember whether or not they played more with me or played more next to me….what I pray they will remember when they look back on their childhood is that I was ALWAYS there!

I was there to make them lunch every afternoon, and I always made their PB & J with the crusts cut off just how they like it. I was there to snuggle them in for every nap with their favorite blankie. I was the one who took them to the pool in the summer and the museum each winter. I provided a clean, safe, loving environment for them to spend their days in….and a fun, active home for them to enjoy. I was there to kiss away the boo-boos and teach them how to share with others.

And perhaps when they become adults, they will realize that I was the one who put aside my personal goals to make sure I was always there to foster their dreams.

This is one of those Laugh out Loud moments that only your child can give you…..

Avery, my youngest son, is not a big fan of cereal.  He has never eaten it…..prior to this week.  He has always been more of a “meat and potatoes” kid (even at 7am), so when he was downing bowls of Cookie Crisp all week, both my husband and I found it rather perplexing. As I was removing the box from the table this morning, I was shocked to see that he single handedly finished off the entire box in 4 days time.   And then the light bulb finally went on…..

There is a dinosaur mask on the back of the box that he asked me to cut out for him earlier in the week.  I told him that I would cut up the box as soon as the cereal was all gone, figuring that eventually his brothers and sisters would eat it.  But waiting on others to get a job done is not something that Avery is known for.  So Avery being Avery….instead of whining and begging me to do it right away….or waiting around for his siblings to eat the cereal…..he quietly realized that there was a job to be done, and if he wanted that mask he would need to step up to the plate and get it done.

I cannot believe that he worked religiously at eating that box of cereal every morning even though he hates cereal just to get to the reward at the end of the “grueling” task.   I laughed out loud when I realized what was going on……and to Avery’s tenacity, determination, and work ethic….I solute you my little 7 year old diplomat!!!  I am truly impressed  ;o)